Trump Caps Very Busy Hostage Day With Minnesota Liarpalooza

Donald Trump yesterday performed the oh-so-presidential act of promising (sort of) not to abduct children at the border and keep them from their parents as "leverage" for a stupid wall he told his stupid supporters Mexico was paying for. His daughter and senior useless person Ivanka Trump wanted to throw him a parade or maybe even put his stupid face on the $20.

The day had gotten off to a bad start when the White House postponed the annual Congressional picnic.

"Because we're all so busy, and I just mentioned to the congressmen and senators in the room that we are going to cancel and postpone tomorrow's congressional picnic," Trump told reporters at the White House.

"We have a congressional picnic tomorrow, and I said, 'You know, it doesn't feel right to have a picnic for Congress when we're working on doing something very important,'" Trump added.

During the meeting with House Republicans that resulted in the cancelled picnic, Trump had tried valiantly to focus them on the tough task of immigration reform with his usual sterling display of mature leadership.

Trump made the room fall silent when he mockingly said he wanted to "congratulate" Sanford on his primary race, according to Politico. The South Carolina Republican, an occasional Trump critic, lost a primary this month to a challenger who criticized him for not doing enough to help the president.

The president called Sanford "nasty," the news outlet reported. The representative was not in the room.

For his part, Sanford told Charleston's The Post and Courier that Trump's decision to "shoot at a guy you've already shot and killed, is perplexing and unfortunate."

Maybe it was best for Trump to get out of town briefly, so after his own twisted version of Juneteenth, he headed up to Duluth, Minnesota, for one of those perfectly normal campaign rallies for himself he likes to have periodically. The excuse this time was to support Pete Stauber, and you're probably not alone in wondering, "Who?"

With a House map full of potential Democratic pick-up opportunities, Minnesota's 8th District presents a rare bright spot for Republicans.

Stauber, a retired police officer and hockey player, has been milking the president's visit for all it's worth, sending out fundraising email blasts in the days leading up to the event and holding a pre-Trump rally event Wednesday morning with supporters in Hermantown.

This used to be Barack Obama territory. The former president carried the 8th District by 9 points in 2008 and 6 points in 2012. But voters here liked Trump's populist message. They supported him by 16 points in 2016.

Yep, Trump is hot in Duluth. And if the GOP wants to hold off the "blue wave," they need victories in Trump-lusting districts like this. It's so strategically important that Trump decided to spice up his act with some new material.

[S]upporters cheered [Trump] on as he blasted illegal immigration, praised his relationship with North Korean leader Kim Jong Un, promoted his new "Space Force" and mocked protesters.

Seriously, if a year ago, I'd told you about the North Korea and "Space Force" bits, you'd think I'd made it up. That was the extent of the new stuff, though, as Trump returned to what works so well for him among his economically anxious supporters (possibly including former Boston Celtic Kevin McHale). There was petty and blatant bigotry:

Mr. Trump also reiterated his claim that he will halt foreign aid to countries from which people immigrate illegally.

"They're not sending their finest," Mr. Trump said. "We're sending them the hell back. That's what we're doing."

In his wide-ranging speech, the president also blasted one protester for having long hair, saying he couldn't tell if the person was a man or a woman. He mocked another protester saying, "Goodbye, darling, goodbye, darling," and telling the individual to go home to "mommy."

The energetic crowd loved Mr. Trump's monologue.

And multiple encores of lies:

It's sort of pointless to keep up with the lies at this point. The MAGA crowd doesn't really care, but Trump did almost accidentally say a true thing: He's probably more "elite" than the much-maligned "elite" that opposes him.

Frankly, the biggest lie of the evening came from Stauber, who Trump finally got around to letting speak for a few minutes.

"Like President Trump, I love this country. I love our freedoms. And I love our Constitution," Stauber said as his explanation for his congressional bid.

Ha! Look at Stauber totally trolling Trump at his own self-lovefest! Oh wait, he was serious.

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Stephen Robinson

Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He writes make believe for Cafe Nordo, an immersive theatre space in Seattle. Once, he wrote a novel called “Mahogany Slade,” which you should read or at least buy. He's also on the board of the Portland Playhouse theatre. His son describes him as a “play typer guy."


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