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You watchin' 41's home-going celebration? Yeah, us neither.

But we've been on Twitter to make sure we don't miss the good parts, and we can tell you For Official that there is one (1) good part, and it is the part where Donald and Melania Trump walk to their pews and sit down. Can you believe it? Those trash-ass people sitting in a row of actual presidents and first ladies? THE NERVE.

Trump is presumably sitting there and grimacing about everybody saying nice things about George H.W. Bush, as people come together in their bipartisan, American way, to say goodbye to a president who was pretty crap but we guess was a pretty nice guy to his friends and family. Trump is probably taking everything as a personal insult, because since Trump has no good qualities, every compliment delivered to another person, even if that person is just a dead body at the front of the room, seems like a personal slight. Hell, he's probably offended nobody is talking about him. (Directly. They're not talking about him directly.)

Of course, George H.W. Bush and his late wife Barbara Bush haaaaaaaaated Donald Trump. and George W. Bush and Laura Bush haaaaaaaate Donald Trump. And that's the Republicans!


Trump, though? He's sitting on a row of DEMOCRAT DEEP STATE PREZNITS. To his left are the Obamas, then the Clintons, and then the Carters.

Shall we watch a video of the row of presidents and first ladies chit-chatting and making jokes and giving each other mints, then abruptly stopping to give side-eye to the bloody human carbuncle who's come to crash their party? Shall we watch as Barack Obama is completely fucking gracious to Melania Trump, like he always is? (She likes him. They've been funeral buddies before.) Shall we watch Michelle just cold judging everything that's going on, up until the exact second it is time for her to smile and say hello to Donald Trump? Shall we watch Hillary Clinton sit there like GENERAL STONEFACE JACKSON, studiously looking in front of her so as not to lose her sense of decorum at an inopportune moment and accidentally do the Clinton Body Count to Trump right then and there? Shall we notice how the Clintons literally do not greet Donald Trump?

We shall.

Damn, that is some must-see TV right there. It should come on after "Friends"!

Look closer at the part where the Clintons ignore Trump:

Look at Hillary. LOOK.

It's not that Hillary Clinton is rude or anything. She gives a polite "'Sup, bro" to Melania.

Look closer at Michelle Obama when she does the human thing and shakes Donald Trump's tiny hairy paw and then immediately goes back to paying attention to literally anything else, while probably mentally gaming out how soon she can wash her hands.

There is so much shade in that 53-second video, it is incredible.

Guess that's what happens when the current president is sitting next to a bunch of people he's insulted, called illegitimate, accused of faking their birth certificates, and called for prosecuting and LOCK HER UP-ping.

It's also what happens when you are in a room where 99.9% of the people present hate you.

Of course, George W. Bush and Laura Bush are seated where the family sits, so they're not in the row of former presidents and presidents who probably won't finish their first term in office. But you will be pleased to know that George W., when he came down the aisle and greeted the row, gave Michelle Obama another Candy Handy (shut up, just because we made it sound gross doesn't mean it's actually gross), because he loves passing her candy.

OK fine, "Candy Handy" is a pretty gross way of saying that.

Anyway, awwwwww, good funeral everyone, except for the part about how Donald Trump stank up the room with his stupid shit-face.

Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT HERE, DO IT RIGHT HERE!

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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Once upon a time... about ten years ago, a group of entirely ridiculous men burst onto the scene wearing stupid hats and telling men that wearing stupid hats and telling men that walking up to women in bars and insulting ("negging") them would get them laid. This did not last long, as women also had televisions and computers and were completely aware of these tricks as well, so when some ass came up to us in a bar and said "Hey, nice nails, are they real?" we would laugh and laugh and loudly announce "Oh my god, this guy just tried to neg me! Can you believe that shit? HEY EVERYONE, THIS GUY JUST TRIED TO NEG ME!" and then refer to him as "Mystery" the whole night.

Most of the men who tried that shit only did so a few times before realizing that it wasn't going to work, and thus moved on to other things. Perhaps things that did not involve furry hats and coming off as a huge creep. We may never know, because I would assume that those who tried it are now extremely embarrassed and would never, ever admit to this to us.

Still, there were a few men willing to eat that shit up, as well as some grifters willing to take advantage of that. Said grifters tended to be extremely misogynistic and seemed more like they were teaching men how to be as despised by women as they were than teaching them how to actually be liked by women.

Some of them, like Roosh V, a creepy weirdo who actually does live in his mom's basement, actively encouraged men to rape women who were intoxicated to the point of being obviously unable to consent.

However, even that branch of the PUA tree is wilting away. Many "self-help" style PUA forums like Nextasf and RSDnation are shutting down or have already shut down. In March, Chateau Heartiste, a batshit crazy PUA turned White Nationalist/Alt-Right blog was shut down by Wordpress. This week, rape advocate Roosh V (whom you may recall once called yours truly a "Wonkette typist/clown face, would not bang") announced that he was renouncing his PUA ways and devoting himself to Jesus. He explained to the forum he manages that he would no longer be allowing anyone to discuss premarital "fornication."

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'Baby Geniuses' star Jon Voight took to Twitter early this morning to proclaim his undying love for Donald Trump, probably because there is no one left in his life who will listen to him talk about this, or anything else, in person. In this video rant, Voight encouraged members of the Republican Party, whom he apparently thinks are the only real citizens of the United States, to stand by Donald Trump and "acknowledge the truth" that he is the best President since Abraham Lincoln.


Part ONE:

People of the Republican Party, I know you will agree with me when I say our president has our utmost respect and our love. This job is not easy. For he's battling the left and their absurd words of destruction. I've said this once and I'll say this again. That our nation has been built on the solid ground from our forefathers, and there is a moral code of duty that has been passed on from President Lincoln. I'm here today to acknowledge the truth, and I'm here today to tell you my fellow Americans that our country…

Oh no, not our absurd words of destruction!

Part DEUX:

is stronger, safer, and with more jobs because our President has made his every move correct. Don't be fooled by the political left, because we are the people of this nation that is witnessing triumph. So let us stand with our president. Let us stand up for this truth, that President Trump is the greatest president since President Lincoln.

Does Jon Voight not know there have been... other presidents? Can he name them? Because really, it does not sound like it. Does he also not know that a very big chunk of the Republican Party actually does not care very much for Abraham Lincoln? Namely those defenders of Confederate statues that Trump called "very fine people?" Also, did he intentionally diss their beloved Ronald Reagan?

Who can know? Who can even tell what he is trying to say or why he is trying to say it. He doesn't appear to have tweeted much since 2016, so I'm guessing whoever's job it was to keep him from tanking his career quit. Either that... or after filming the seventh season of Ray Donovan, he found out it's going to be canceled or his character is getting killed off or something and he is now free to be a jackass? I don't know, I haven't watched the show, although my parents are very into it and mad that I haven't watched it. Literally all I know about it is that it has something to do with Boston, because they keep mentioning that to me like it's a selling point.

It seems useless at this point to note that the people who scream their faces off about how bad it is for Hollywood celebs to support liberal causes, and how they should keep their politics to themselves, etc. etc. make a way bigger deal than normal people do whenever a Big Time Hollywood Celebrity like Jon Voight or, uh, Scott Baio, supports their cause. Mostly because they're the only ones who have elected a reality TV star and the star of Bedtime for Bonzo (who by the way, also once practically ruined a perfectly good Bette Davis movie with his bad acting. Which is not to say that Dark Victory is not fantastic and probably the best thing to watch if you want to sob your face off, but he was very bad in it.) to run the country.

But we might as well do that anyway, because it actually never stops being funny.

[Jon Voight Twitter]

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