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You watchin' 41's home-going celebration? Yeah, us neither.

But we've been on Twitter to make sure we don't miss the good parts, and we can tell you For Official that there is one (1) good part, and it is the part where Donald and Melania Trump walk to their pews and sit down. Can you believe it? Those trash-ass people sitting in a row of actual presidents and first ladies? THE NERVE.

Trump is presumably sitting there and grimacing about everybody saying nice things about George H.W. Bush, as people come together in their bipartisan, American way, to say goodbye to a president who was pretty crap but we guess was a pretty nice guy to his friends and family. Trump is probably taking everything as a personal insult, because since Trump has no good qualities, every compliment delivered to another person, even if that person is just a dead body at the front of the room, seems like a personal slight. Hell, he's probably offended nobody is talking about him. (Directly. They're not talking about him directly.)

Of course, George H.W. Bush and his late wife Barbara Bush haaaaaaaaated Donald Trump. and George W. Bush and Laura Bush haaaaaaaate Donald Trump. And that's the Republicans!


Trump, though? He's sitting on a row of DEMOCRAT DEEP STATE PREZNITS. To his left are the Obamas, then the Clintons, and then the Carters.

Shall we watch a video of the row of presidents and first ladies chit-chatting and making jokes and giving each other mints, then abruptly stopping to give side-eye to the bloody human carbuncle who's come to crash their party? Shall we watch as Barack Obama is completely fucking gracious to Melania Trump, like he always is? (She likes him. They've been funeral buddies before.) Shall we watch Michelle just cold judging everything that's going on, up until the exact second it is time for her to smile and say hello to Donald Trump? Shall we watch Hillary Clinton sit there like GENERAL STONEFACE JACKSON, studiously looking in front of her so as not to lose her sense of decorum at an inopportune moment and accidentally do the Clinton Body Count to Trump right then and there? Shall we notice how the Clintons literally do not greet Donald Trump?

We shall.

Damn, that is some must-see TV right there. It should come on after "Friends"!

Look closer at the part where the Clintons ignore Trump:

Look at Hillary. LOOK.

It's not that Hillary Clinton is rude or anything. She gives a polite "'Sup, bro" to Melania.

Look closer at Michelle Obama when she does the human thing and shakes Donald Trump's tiny hairy paw and then immediately goes back to paying attention to literally anything else, while probably mentally gaming out how soon she can wash her hands.

There is so much shade in that 53-second video, it is incredible.

Guess that's what happens when the current president is sitting next to a bunch of people he's insulted, called illegitimate, accused of faking their birth certificates, and called for prosecuting and LOCK HER UP-ping.

It's also what happens when you are in a room where 99.9% of the people present hate you.

Of course, George W. Bush and Laura Bush are seated where the family sits, so they're not in the row of former presidents and presidents who probably won't finish their first term in office. But you will be pleased to know that George W., when he came down the aisle and greeted the row, gave Michelle Obama another Candy Handy (shut up, just because we made it sound gross doesn't mean it's actually gross), because he loves passing her candy.

OK fine, "Candy Handy" is a pretty gross way of saying that.

Anyway, awwwwww, good funeral everyone, except for the part about how Donald Trump stank up the room with his stupid shit-face.

Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT HERE, DO IT RIGHT HERE!

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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Yeah, that's definitely a repurposed animatronic Hillary (YouTube)

A whole bunch of protests were held today against the fake "president's" fake "emergency" declaration, with people turning out in cold crappy weather to call attention to the general nastiness of the guy who claims he absolutely had to do that declaration that wasn't necessary. Organizers with MoveOn.org said over 250 rallies were planned nationwide. So far, the national State Of Emergency doesn't appear to have caused any of the rallies to be cancelled, despite the very real possibility that terrified Honduran refugees fleeing violence in Central America might suddenly show up and ask for asylum.

Are there still actions taking place in your area? Check at MoveOn!

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WHAT. IS. PAUL. MANAFORT. HIDING?

Before Manafort pleaded guilty and signed up as a cooperating witness who didn't actually cooperate, we wrote this:

We have always kind of figured that Paul Manafort is the one who knows the whole Trump-Russia conspiracy story. He was the first big fish indicted, and they hit him for A LOT. Also note that just about all the other prosecutions that have come from the Mueller investigation so far have been farmed out by Mueller to different jurisdictions. Manafort, on the other hand, Mueller has kept squarely in his office. There has to be a reason for that.

Perhaps it's because, as this Josh Marshall podcast suggests, Paul Manafort, a foreign agent who worked for Oleg Deripaska, AKA Putin's favorite oligarch, and who got sideways financially with Deripaska, was literally sent into the Trump campaign by the Kremlin to do its dirty work. Perhaps the Steele Dossier is right when it suggests that the entire Trump-Russia election-stealing conspiracy was run by Manafort on the Trump side, and that others like (perhaps!) Michael Cohen only had to take over when Manafort's shit started to stink and the news media started reporting on his weird-ass Russian connections in the summer of 2016.

If it's possible, we are beginning to suspect it may be even worse than that.

On Friday, special counsel Robert Mueller issued his sentencing recommendations for Manafort, after DC district court Judge Amy Berman Jackson ruled conclusively that the shady motherfucker very intentionally lied and blew up his cooperating agreement. Because Manafort defaulted, Mueller is no longer bound to recommend that Manafort's sentence be reduced, and is free to throw the book right at Manafort's face. HARD.

And that is what Mueller did! To be clear, the sentencing memo is harsh.

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