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You watchin' 41's home-going celebration? Yeah, us neither.

But we've been on Twitter to make sure we don't miss the good parts, and we can tell you For Official that there is one (1) good part, and it is the part where Donald and Melania Trump walk to their pews and sit down. Can you believe it? Those trash-ass people sitting in a row of actual presidents and first ladies? THE NERVE.

Trump is presumably sitting there and grimacing about everybody saying nice things about George H.W. Bush, as people come together in their bipartisan, American way, to say goodbye to a president who was pretty crap but we guess was a pretty nice guy to his friends and family. Trump is probably taking everything as a personal insult, because since Trump has no good qualities, every compliment delivered to another person, even if that person is just a dead body at the front of the room, seems like a personal slight. Hell, he's probably offended nobody is talking about him. (Directly. They're not talking about him directly.)

Of course, George H.W. Bush and his late wife Barbara Bush haaaaaaaaated Donald Trump. and George W. Bush and Laura Bush haaaaaaaate Donald Trump. And that's the Republicans!


Trump, though? He's sitting on a row of DEMOCRAT DEEP STATE PREZNITS. To his left are the Obamas, then the Clintons, and then the Carters.

Shall we watch a video of the row of presidents and first ladies chit-chatting and making jokes and giving each other mints, then abruptly stopping to give side-eye to the bloody human carbuncle who's come to crash their party? Shall we watch as Barack Obama is completely fucking gracious to Melania Trump, like he always is? (She likes him. They've been funeral buddies before.) Shall we watch Michelle just cold judging everything that's going on, up until the exact second it is time for her to smile and say hello to Donald Trump? Shall we watch Hillary Clinton sit there like GENERAL STONEFACE JACKSON, studiously looking in front of her so as not to lose her sense of decorum at an inopportune moment and accidentally do the Clinton Body Count to Trump right then and there? Shall we notice how the Clintons literally do not greet Donald Trump?

We shall.

Damn, that is some must-see TV right there. It should come on after "Friends"!

Look closer at the part where the Clintons ignore Trump:

Look at Hillary. LOOK.

It's not that Hillary Clinton is rude or anything. She gives a polite "'Sup, bro" to Melania.

Look closer at Michelle Obama when she does the human thing and shakes Donald Trump's tiny hairy paw and then immediately goes back to paying attention to literally anything else, while probably mentally gaming out how soon she can wash her hands.

There is so much shade in that 53-second video, it is incredible.

Guess that's what happens when the current president is sitting next to a bunch of people he's insulted, called illegitimate, accused of faking their birth certificates, and called for prosecuting and LOCK HER UP-ping.

It's also what happens when you are in a room where 99.9% of the people present hate you.

Of course, George W. Bush and Laura Bush are seated where the family sits, so they're not in the row of former presidents and presidents who probably won't finish their first term in office. But you will be pleased to know that George W., when he came down the aisle and greeted the row, gave Michelle Obama another Candy Handy (shut up, just because we made it sound gross doesn't mean it's actually gross), because he loves passing her candy.

OK fine, "Candy Handy" is a pretty gross way of saying that.

Anyway, awwwwww, good funeral everyone, except for the part about how Donald Trump stank up the room with his stupid shit-face.

Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT HERE, DO IT RIGHT HERE!

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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Remember a few weeks ago when House Judiciary Committee Chair Jerry Nadler sent a very nice and loving request to 81 people and entities associated with Donald Trump, including the White House, asking to please FUCKING GIVE IT a million documents, in order to aid Judiciary's investigation into Trump's millions of crimes? Well, the deadline was Monday, and some folks are helping! Others are not!

According to Nadler, they've already gotten "tens of thousands" of documents, and all signs point to more document requests coming, to approximately one million more people. There have been some surprises, too. Steve Bannon is helping a LOT, turning over thousands of pages (which is perhaps too much if you've ever seen that episode of "The West Wing," where CJ Cregg talks about being so crazy over-compliant with Congress that they just snow down investigators with everything, including take-out menus and junk mail). Trump Inauguration weirdo/longtime associate Tom Barrack is helping, and Hope Hicks is also too gonna be a good little helper. And so on!

And some are asking for "friendly subpoenas," like for instance attorney Keith Davidson, who used to rep Stormy Daniels and Karen McDougal, who's asking for that in order to "formalize the process," as Politico puts it. (Some people don't like being asked nicely.)

Still others are saying straight up NO, and some of them have better reasons than others. Roger Stone is pleading the Fifth on advice of counsel because, you know, he's in trouble with the law right now. Rick Gates says he can't really help, citing how he is still a cooperating witness who is very business hunting wabbits in multiple ongoing investigations. And Julian Assange said no, because (LOL) he is a journalist, you guys, and Congress shouldn't subpoena journalists about their sources. (Actually WikiLeaks is a cut-out for Russian intelligence. Which is kind of like "journalist," except not remotely.)

But the real story here is that the White House, in response to pretty much every document request it's gotten, is saying "FUCK OFF! WE ARE GOING TO DO THE WATERGATE THING! IT WORKED OUT VERY WELL, IN WATERGATE! FUCK IT, LET'S DO THE WATERGATE THING!"

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