Trump SO ANGRY At Sean Spicer For Letting Vagina-American Melissa McCarthy Play Him On SNL
WE CALLED IT! When we saw Melissa McCarthy's spectacular takedown of White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer on "Saturday Night Live," we said to our friends or maybe our dog, "Trump is going to be SO PISSED a girl played Spicer." And lookie here:
More than being lampooned as a press secretary who makes up facts, it was Spicer’s portrayal by a woman that was most problematic in the president’s eyes, according to sources close to him. [...]
"Trump doesn't like his people to look weak," added a top Trump donor.
Trump’s uncharacteristic Twitter silence over the weekend about the “Saturday Night Live” sketch was seen internally as a sign of how uncomfortable it made the White House feel. Sources said the caricature of Spicer by McCarthy struck a nerve and was upsetting to the press secretary and to his allies, who immediately saw how damaging it could be in Trump world.
Hahahahaha, "President" Trump was too mad/sad to play Twitter!
[wonkbar]<a href="http://wonkette.com/611138/president-bannon-cramming-sht-through-while-ivanka-and-jared-are-off-being-jewish"></a>[/wonkbar]Know why we knew Trump would be MOST pissed about that, or at least as pissed as he was by SNL's suggestion that Trump totally misbehaves when Ivanka and Jared are off being Jewish on Shabbat (CALLED THAT TOO) and by how President Steve Bannon is shown as the one controlling Trump with his hand up the puppet's butt? Well obviously, because we are the greatest political mind in America, BUT ALSO because Donald Trump's insecurities are hilariously easy to predict. We knew when he saw Melissa McCarthy doing a better Sean Spicer impression than Sean Spicer does, that it would crawl up into the thin skin of Trump's orange grundle and metastasize into a scabby rash of anger about how Spicer (Trump's press guy, WHO HAS A PENIS!) was portrayed by a common haver-of-vagina like Melissa McCarthy.
We know Trump does not like women, does not respect women, and is threatened by women. We know this because he admitted it to Howard Stern oh those many years ago. We know it because we heard him bragging on tape about how he gets to sexually assault women, because he's a big star. We know it because we watched him melt down and accuse Megyn Kelly of menstruating on a GOP primary debate stage like a crazy person, because she committed the crime of quoting his past comments about women.
And now here is Trump's press secretary, a dude, bleeding from his wherevers on "Saturday Night Live." The horrors!
Spicer's public reactions to McCarthy's portrayal have been less fun, as he's just said stuff about how she needs to "dial it back" and that he doesn't chew that much gum. (He reportedly does chew that much gum.) We wish we could say we believe McCarthy is going to be back week after week for the next four years, but we have a feeling poor Sean's days are numbered in the White House. Of course, the next press secretary won't be any better, because you really can't come off as a good, serious person when you're trying to defend something as batshit, dishonest, un-American and evil as the Trump agenda.
Now, SNL and all the rest of us just have to keep up the pressure by constantly pointing out that Steve Bannon is the real president. Hey, maybe a lady could play Bannon on next week's show -- like this one, maybe! And maybe a bunch of ladies could give Alec Baldwin the week off and play Trump all by their lady-selves!
Just kidding, this weekend Alec Baldwin is actually hosting the show, which means he'll be making fun of Trump even more than usual, so if Trump was too butthurt to tweet this past Sunday, we can't even imagine how violently he will 'splode with sadness, anger and ennui at this weekend's episode, while wearing his bathrobe. It will be tremendous and yooooge!