Donald Trump, whose political instincts are approximately as good as his "don't obstruct justice on Twitter" instincts and his "how to hire a good lawyer" instincts, is ANGRY. You see, he really thought Nick Ayers, Mike Pence's chief of staff, was super excited to become his new chief of staff, but it turned out Nick Ayers is a political operative who'd like to have a career after the Trump presidency self-destructs, so Nick Ayers told him to fuck off. And Ayers said it like a surprise, on Twitter! The way Trump does! ASSHOLE.

And as all the major media organizations are reporting, Trump didn't have a Plan B. (Which is why he's probably paid for so many abortions and lied to his evangelical followers about it, BA-DUM CHING, ALLEGEDLY!)

CNN says Trump is "super pissed," and that he had already given Nick Ayers his first work assignment, before Nick Ayers left him on his ass. Another source CNN talked to said Trump feels humiliated, and that's on top of the normal humiliation of waking up every day and looking in the mirror and seeing that you're still Donald Trump.

It's not that Trump is so mad he's gonna explode or anything, because at least Nick Ayers is going to run Trump's re-election super PAC. BUT GRRR ARGH ANYWAY.

As for the search for a chief of staff, well ... it's not going so well, because nobody wants to work for the smoldering trashfire that is the Trump White House. Steven Mnuchin, Mick Mulvaney and Robert Lighthizer all are telling Trump to fuck off. So is Randy Levine, president of the New York Yankees.

Sure, House Freedom Caucus idiot Mark Meadows is salivating for it, because Mark Meadows is a very stupid and sycophantic man who just wants to be near Donald Trump always. Acting Attorney General Meatball is still on the list, because he's such a good little Meatball. Piers Morgan is begging for the job on the internet, so that's pathetic, but we think he's trying to be #humorous, so that's also pathetic.

Here is the rest of The List, as reported by the Washington Post:

David N. Bossie, Trump's former deputy campaign manager and an outside adviser; White House counselor Kellyanne Conway; Chris Christie, a former New Jersey governor and former Trump transition chairman; Energy Secretary Rick Perry, a former Texas governor; Rick Santorum, a former U.S. senator from Pennsylvania; and Wayne Berman, an executive at the investment firm Blackstone and a veteran Republican operative.

Wow, that is a damaged, discontinued clearance rack full of deplorables. But reportedly there are some names we don't even know yet, so maybe they are the "best people"? (NARRATOR: They are not.)

Angelina Jolie's unstable dad, Jon Voight, was at the White House yesterday. Maybe he was interviewing for the position?

Trump lied and tweeted on Tuesday morning that people are just kicking down his door for the job, stating that "many, over ten" are competing for it. Poor thing thinks he's still hosting "The Celebrity Apprentice."

But maybe there really are ten people? Let's count up, based on the ones we know of and the ones we are just wildly speculating probably want the job.

1. Mark Meadows.

2. Meatball.

3. David Bossie, maybe?

4. Kellyanne, except they don't even know if she wants the job.

5. Rick Perry, OK sure LOL.

6. Chris Christie, except Jared hates him so nope.

7. Rick Santorum? Really?

8. Wayne Berman.

9. Piers Morgan.

10. Jon Voight.

11. Diamond.

12. Silk.

13. Jacob Wohl.

14. David Duke.

15. Ted Nugent.

We take it back. Sounds like we got a real competition here!

Except, meh, fuck it, Trump already has a chief of staff, and his name is Vladimir Putin. Search over! Take down that Craigslist ad, Mr. President!

As for John Kelly, who is quit-fired and getting the fuck out of here by the end of the year? Tell us a scoop, New York Times!!

Mr. Kelly, meanwhile, is said to be furious with Ms. Trump and Mr. Kushner. One senior administration official said that Mr. Kelly was known to have kept written notes about Mr. Kushner and Ms. Trump and the things that they had done or requested, which he conspicuously left on his desk in view of his staff.

John Kelly's book is gonna be LIT, Y'ALL.

[Washington Post / New York Times]

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Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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Uh oh, looks like George Conway, husband of Kellyanne, is going to be sleeping on the couch for another week, because they are having That Fight They Always Have, the one where he says her boss (the president) is certifiably mentally unstable, and she's like "nuh uh," and we guess she reminds him that if that so-called certifiably mentally unstable person wasn't president, then she wouldn't be making a government salary for going on Fox News and lying to the American people.

It started this weekend with Donald Trump's latest Twitter rampage, which is still going on, and which avid watchers of Trump's Twitter habits agree seems to suggest that he is real upset about something. Like, more than usual. The sort of upset he gets when Robert Mueller is about to arrest his son, maybe. You know, ALLEGEDLY.

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Still no solution for shapeshifting trespassers

Hey, while every media outlet is doing exactly the same stupid horse-race political coverage they said nobody should be doing, the actual candidates for the Democratic presidential nomination are busily putting forward policy proposals -- the things pundits and voters keep saying they want to know about, at least in between discussions of "likeability" and whether Chuck Todd thinks candidates are bipartisan enough. So hey, here is a cool housing policy idea from Elizabeth Warren, who's trying to out-nerd everyone else with a proposal to make housing more affordable and even redress some of the nation's terrible legacy of housing discrimination. What a weirdo!

Warren outlines her housing proposals here, and we like 'em. There are even linkies to studies supporting her proposals, yay for info geeks! She notes that, for grownup adults, where you live (more precisely, where you can afford to live) has enormous consequences.

Housing is not just the biggest expense for most American families — or the biggest purchase most Americans will make in their lifetimes. It also affects the jobs you can get, the schools your children can go to, and the kinds of communities you can live in. That's why it's so important that government gets housing policy right.

Problem is, the federal government has spent decades getting housing policy very very wrong, from building racial discrimination into housing policy for much of the 20th century, to letting the big banks screw over homeowners and taxpayers as well. And of course, not doing much of anything to address the crunch in affordable housing for low and middle-income people. How's this for some real class warfare, via the supposedly invisible hand of the market:

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