The nation's last real president, Barack Obama, shredded Donald Trump, the squatter-in-chief, at a campaign speech in Philadelphia last week. Then this weekend he did it again. This sent Trump into his feels because when people say true things about him it's really insulting on account of how terrible he is. This weekend, Trump responded on Twitter predictably, like a child with serious emotional problems.


Obama's Philadelphia “drive-in" rally wasn't open to the general public, and in-person attendance was deliberately limited. Unlike Trump, Obama cares about human life other than his own. He's also “human" beyond simply the biological sense that technically includes Trump.

Trump finds COVID-19 an annoying obstacle to his narcissistic supply. He'd planned on holding rallies all through the 2020 campaign but gathering people into large crowds isn't safe during a pandemic. Trump doesn't care. He's held his hate rallies anyway, in defiance of state orders and federal health guidelines, and the evidence is mounting now that wherever Trump goes, he makes people sicker.

Trump has headlined at least three dozen COVIDchellas since the middle of August, usually at airport hangars. The attendees rarely wear masks, nor are they strongly encouraged to do so. The result, according to a USA Today analysis, has not been good.

COVID-19 cases grew at a faster rate than before after at least five of those rallies in the following counties: Blue Earth, Minnesota; Lackawanna, Pennsylvania; Marathon, Wisconsin; Dauphin, Pennsylvania; and Beltrami, Minnesota.

Together, those counties saw 1,500 more new cases in the two weeks following Trump's rallies than the two weeks before – 9,647 cases, up from 8,069.

Trump glibly calls his rallies “peaceful protests," but 16 confirmed COVID-19 cases, including two hospitalizations, have been linked to his rally in Beltrami County, Minnesota, where he praised the “good genes" of the predominately white rallygoers. If two people were hospitalized after a Black Lives Matter rally, he'd send in federal troops.

Cases in Marathon County, Wisconsin, were increasing at a rate of 17 percent two weeks before the president's rally at the Central Wisconsin Airport in September. Cases spiked by 67 percent two weeks after the rally. The public health risk doesn't seem worth it for Trump to deliver such stale, hackneyed material as "If Biden wins, China wins. If Biden wins, the mob wins. Anarchists win. Flag burners win."

This pandemic has devastated the country. I would burn all the flags if it meant I could see a Broadway show again. The Flag-Burning Musical Where You Can Hug Your Grandmother would open to rave reviews.

USA Today concedes that there's "no way to determine definitively if cases originated at Trump's rallies," but public health experts and anyone with half a brain will tell you that the all-you-can-infect COVID-19 jamborees willfully ignore all sensible recommendations for curbing the spread of the virus.

But Trump just doesn't care. He might as well start each rally by waving a white flag to the coronavirus. At an event in Lumberton, North Carolina, Saturday, Trump complained that “all I hear about now" is the coronavirus. I'm sure it is. He's the goddamn president. We're all sorry about it, but managing a public health crisis is part of the job he can't do worth a damn.

TRUMP: "Covid, Covid, Covid, Covid, Covid." A plane goes down, 500 people dead, they don't talk about it.

The media does have an annoying habit of focusing more on actual pandemics that are killing real people than imaginary plane crashes. And Trump, according to his Twitter this morning, thinks that reporting on COVID-19 should be BANNED.

More Trump rally-whining:

TRUMP: "Covid Covid Covid Covid." By the way, on November 4th, you won't hear about it anymore.

That was the case for Trump's migrant caravan that Fox News covered nonstop just before the 2018 midterms, because Trump made the whole crisis up. The coronavirus is real. Trump has had the shit. He's so delusional he can't tell the difference between his racist Grimms' fairy tales and an actual threat to American security. COVID-19 is going away after voters kick Trump to the curb for trash pickup. If elected, Joe Biden will likely spend most of his first term pulling us out of the grave Trump dug for us.

The United States recorded at least 82,900 new coronavirus infections on Friday, the day before Trump's Shecky Greene act in North Carolina. That's the highest daily number since the pandemic began. So, I'm begging you. The election's in eight days. Please make a plan to vote Pennywise the Racist Clown out of office before he kills us all.

[USA Today / Newsweek]

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Stephen Robinson

Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He writes reviews for the A.V. Club and make believe for Cafe Nordo, an immersive theatre space in Seattle. He's also on the board of the Portland Playhouse theatre. His son describes him as a “play typer guy."


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