Trump White House so chill right now.

People have a lot of different reactions to mass shooting terrorist attacks, some all at the same time. Sadness, shock, helplessness, rage, frustration that it's happening again, numbness because it happens all the time ... any of these are valid and normal. And then there is the Trump White House, which is so self-centered, apparently, that it views mass shootings, the kind that happened in Florida and ended the lives of a bunch of kids, as a REPRIEVE.

Before the attack that took the lives of 17 at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida, the White House had been so busy dealing with the Rob Porter wife-beating scandal and the Trump-Russia scandal and the Trump fucked a porn star scandal. So when the CNN Fake News came across the wires with reports of an attack, people all over the West Wing were like "FINALLY, you guys! Let's book a spa day!" Allegedly.

The Washington Post reports:

While the White House mourned the loss of life in Parkland, Fla., some aides privately acknowledged that the tragedy offered a breather from the political storm.

Well you wouldn't want to hold a press conference to announce how relieved you are a bunch of kids got murdered, would you? And they didn't, because if you'll remember, the day the shooting happened, Sarah Huckabee Sanders had already pushed back her daily presser about four million times, until finally canceling it once news of the attack came out. Guess they all went to Happy Hour.

OK, it wasn't all fun and games and strip poker and beer pong:

One White House official said the shooting forced the White House to focus on critical and serious issues — like consoling the victims and trying to heal the nation — rather than getting bogged down in what they view as more trivial West Wing drama.

But at least some of it was fun and games and hookers and blow:

“For everyone, it was a distraction or a reprieve,” said the White House official, who spoke on the condition of anonymity to reflect internal conversations. “A lot of people here felt like it was a reprieve from seven or eight days of just getting pummeled.”

Poor babies, just getting pummeled because the White House is a literal goat rodeo full of incompetents and wife-beaters and foreign agents, led by one unfit stable genius whose greatest party trick is being able to correctly identify which one is "camel." Bet they all breathed a big sigh of relief when some other people got pummeled, with bullets.

They were tired, OK? Last time they got to kick their feet up and get some well-deserved R&R was after the Las Vegas massacre:

The official likened the brief political calm to the aftermath of the October shooting in Las Vegas that left 58 dead and hundreds more injured. That tragedy united White House aides and the country in their shared mourning for the victims and their families.

"Shared mourning." Some people call it "Netflix 'n' chill," others call it "shared mourning," is that right Trump White House? Allegedly?

“But as we all know, sadly, when the coverage dies down a little bit, we’ll be back through the chaos,” the official said.

Ugh, it's always like that. It's like the chaos is always there, when you work in a fully formed shitshow of historic proportions that's dedicated to ruining America.

The White House mass shooting vacay was even better than usual, WaPo reports, because the idiot in the Oval Office was taking one of his weekly golfing vacations:

The three-day Presidents’ Day weekend added to the hiatus, with Trump traveling to his private Mar-a-Lago estate in Palm Beach, Fla., with only a few aides and giving others on his beleaguered staff a chance to rest and recuperate.

How nice for them. WaPo also says the shooting attack, where 17 kids and teachers died, really seems to have stabilized Chief of Staff John Kelly's job security, so isn't that nice? We wouldn't want General Kelly to be lying awake at night, wondering if he's too old to get hired at the Big Lots, in case Trump fires him.

But now everybody is back at work, so we bet the West Wing has a real stinky case of the Mondays today, even though it is Tuesday.

Fuck all these trashy people, right in their ears.

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[Washington Post]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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You guys, hi, hello, it is almost the holiday weekend, so we are going to share you a real video posted last night by "Doctor" Sebastian "Don't Call Me A Nazi" Gorka, that hilarious old knucklecuck. We guess now that he had to give up (or gave up voluntarily!) his Fox News contract, he just makes videos for the Twitter. Hoo ... ray?

Anyway, Gorka is super-excited that Donald Trump issued that order last night, giving Bill Barr all kinds of new powers to expose the Deep State for what it is and PROVE once and for all that the gremlins who live inside Trump's diarrhea are correct when they say Hillary ordered the Deep State to do an illegal witch hunt to Trump, yadda yadda yadda, you've seen these people huff paint before, we don't have to type it all.

Here is the video, after which Wonkette will either transcribe it OR we will provide our own dramatic interpretation. Which one will it be? We don't know! Would you be able to tell the difference between the two? We don't know!

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We want to say right here at the outset that we hate Julian Assange. Aside from the sexual assault allegations against him, and aside from the fact that he's just a generally stinky and loathsome person who reportedly smeared poop on the walls at the Ecuadorian embassy in London, while reportedly not taking care of his cat, an innocent creature, he acted as Russia's handmaiden during the 2016 election, in order to further Russia's campaign to steal it for Donald Trump. All signs point to his campaign being a success!

So we are justifiably happy when bad things happen to Julian Assange. We are happy his name is shit the world over, and that any reputation WikiLeaks used to have for being on the side of freedom and transparency has been stuffed down the toilet where it belongs. We are happy he looked like such a sad-ass loser when the Ecuadorian embassy finally kicked him out and he was arrested.

And quite frankly, we were OK with the initial charge against him recently unsealed in the Eastern District of Virginia. If you'll remember, he was charged with trying to help Chelsea Manning hack a password into the Defense Department, which is not what journalists do. Journalists do not drive the get-away car for sources. Journalists do not hold their sources' hair back while they're stealing classified intel. Assange is essentially accused of doing all that.

Now, put all that aside. Because -- and this is key -- journalists do publish secrets they are provided by sources. That's First Amendment, chapter and verse, American as fucking apple pie and fast-food-induced diabetes. And that is what much of the superseding indictment of Assange unsealed yesterday was about. (And nope, it wasn't about anything regarding Assange's ratfucking the 2016 election or Hillary's emails. Why would the Trump Justice Department prosecute anything about that? It's all about the older Chelsea Manning stuff, the stuff the Obama Justice Department considered charging Assange with, but ultimately declined, because of that little thing called the First Amendment.)

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