Trump Stiffs Rudy Giuliani For Legal Bills. Yeah, Don't Faint.

Trump

Sucks to be Roodles! In the latest teaser from Michael Wolff's book Landslide: The Final Days of the Trump Presidency (Wonkette cut link), the journalist says Rudy Giuliani is on the outs in Trumpland and hasn't been paid a penny for his efforts to ratfuck the election and keep his client in the White House. Which is in line with Your Wonkette's valuation of his legal services, but presumably not what he had in mind when he spent six months leaking hair dye all over that landscaper's parking lot and getting absolutely pantsed in federal court.

Business Insider and the Independent reported on the excerpt released by The Times of London, which wanted our birthday to sign up for an introductory offer. Rude! According to BI, "Trump is annoyed that he tried to get paid for his election challenge work," and Rudy's been "cast out, cut off" by the entire Trump family. Which is quite the comedown for a guy who tried to get the campaign to pay him $20,000 per day for his services.

(Also, it will never not be funny that Rudy refers to Maria Ryan, who tried to dun the campaign, as his "associate," when we all know she's his lady friend. Although it's perhaps a more discreet appellation than his original description of her back in 2018 as a "big-boobed" married woman.)


You'd think the campaign could throw the guy a bone, since they're hoovering up cash from the marks at an alarming rate. But Rudy's "gotten only the cold shoulder" from his former patron. And worse still, Trump is reportedly asking his pals to set him up with someone new.

Someone younger. Someone less obviously demented. Someone who still has a license to practice law.

Noting that "it is also clear to those around him – those concerned for him (and themselves) – that he faces serious legal issues," Wolff reports that Trump is stopping people as they wander around Mar-a-Lago to ask them to fix him up with their hot lawyer friends.

"Notably, he faces his legal challenges without any real lawyers in place, going so far as to ask random visitors if they know any good ones," Wolff writes.

Try the yellow pages, fella!

All of this is coming at the worst possible time for Giuliani, who can no longer trade on his access to the Justice Department, now that Merrick Garland is in charge. And with the court suspending his bar license in New York, Giuliani's going to have a heck of a time contorting himself to say that he's not lobbying on behalf of foreign actors — perish the very thought! — he's doing very serious law stuff.

Not to mention that there's no attorney-client privilege if you're not a lawyer any more.

Plus there are all his many legal problems, including a federal investigation by the Southern District of New York and lawsuits by Dominion Voting Systems and Smartmatic. Rudy was already struggling to cover his nut (not to say his nuts), with a monthly burn rate of $500,000 between him and his estranged wife Judi Nathan, with whom he is locked in a bitter divorce fight. And now he's facing multiple, expensive legal fights at a time when his ability to work is substantially curtailed.

But every cloud has a silver lining. With Rudy cast out into the wilderness, it's time to usher in a new superstar lawyer in Trumpland.

Sidney Powell, it's your moment to shine!

[Business Insider / Independent]

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Liz Dye

Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.

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