Trump Sues NY AG Letitia James Under Legal Doctrine Of PLEASE GO 'WAY, MEAN LADY!

New York Attorney General Letitia James is going to have to get ready to cry so much, because she is SUED! By Donald Trump! Who along with his very good lawyers has just filed a lawsuit that says she has to stop investigating him and scaring him and looking at his secrets!

Specifically, this lawsuit would like a jury to make all James's very mean subpoenas go away, and her civil investigation into the valuations of his properties should go away, and she should go away. Got that? It is a very complicated legal argument, and it is "please leave me alone and go away."

And the judge (an Obama judge) is gonna agree because judges are always agreeing with Trump.

Trump's lawyer argues that James is BIASSSSSSS, and claims sans compelling evidence that the only motivation for James's investigation is BIASSSSSSSSS:

Since taking office, she has tirelessly bombarded him, his family and his business, Trump Organization LLC, with unwarranted subpoenas in a bitter crusade to “take on” the President.

The who? Tish James is bitterly crusading Joe Biden? Does this poor lawyer not know who the president is? Sad.

As outlined below, James’s bias is immediately apparent. Among other things, she has referred to the Trump presidency as “illegitimate,” has promised to weaponize her resources against him and “anyone in [his] orbit,” and has boasted about suing him “76 times.” Most troubling, James began making these threats before she was even elected at a time when she possessed no actual information or insight into Trump’s business.

Emotive violin solo dot gif!

The investigations commenced by James are in no way connected to legitimate law enforcement goals, but rather, are merely a thinly-veiled effort to publicly malign Trump and his associates. Her mission is guided solely by political animus and a desire to harass, intimidate, and retaliate against a private citizen who she views as a political opponent.

OK, spoiler, but Trump's lawyer — some person named Alina Habba — does not actually outline these things below or prove them. Trump's lawyer proves that Tish James is a Democrat who doesn't like Donald Trump, no small feat considering how she's a public figure whose name is usually written with a (D) next to it. Unfortunately this doesn't actually serve to prove that THEREFORE James is only doing what she is doing because of BIASSSSSSSS, or that her investigation isn't totally 100 percent valid.

By the way, Wonkette's Liz Dye notes at her other gig that this is the same lawyer who threatened to sue the Pulitzer committee if it didn't revoke the awards it gave the New York Times and Washington Post for their Trump-Russia coverage. That loud sound you hear is yourself suddenly laughing your entire ass off.

James has deprived, and will continue to deprive, Plaintiffs of their rights under federal law, state law and common law by virtue of her callous acts. Even worse, rather than diligently prosecuting actual crimes in the State of New York—which are steadily on the rise— James has instead allocated precious taxpayer resources towards a frivolous witch hunt.

Oh blah blah blah and boo hoo.

There are several laugh-out-loud claims in this lawsuit, but one of the ones that's really got people giggling is this assertion that somehow Tish James forced Manhattan DA Cyrus Vance to do criminal investigations of Trump under the bleachers after third period starting in 2021, when as everybody is noting, he started his investigation way back in 2019.

On May 18, 2021, Defendant compounded her efforts to prosecute Trump by relentlessly pushing New York County District Attorney, Cyrus Vance, into a criminal investigation of the Trump Organization. By doing so, Defendant is inappropriately heading parallel civil and criminal probes into Plaintiffs’ alleged unlawful business practices as a further attempt to erode their constitutional rights.

Oh well, good try at "lawsuit," Trump lawyer!

Here is a response from James:

She wants to depose him on January 7, by the way. If this lawsuit is Trump's highest and best effort to keep that from happening, we'll be expecting that deposition to happen bright and early that morning.


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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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