Gary Cohn, the president's top economic adviser, already told many lies yesterday morning about Donald Trump's tax "plan," which Cohn and Trump keep LYYYYYYYYYYING will benefit middle-class and poor people, who will actually not see any tax relief any at all under it (while the very poorest people's tax rate goes UP, from 10 percent to 12), and denying that rich people will get any tax cut at all.

Besides abolishing the Don Trump Jr. Inheritance Tax and the alternative minimum tax (which is the only reason Donald Trump paid any taxes at ALL in the one leaked tax return we've seen), it drops the top rate from 39 to 35 percent -- or to 25 percent if you're a Trump with a "passthrough" business. So those are, you know, facts.

Luckily, Cohn came out to lie SOME MORE at the White House yesterday afternoon, and it was so great!

Lady Reporter: Based on what we know, what little we know about [Trump’s] finances, he’d get a big cut on the AMT [Alternative Minimum Tax], I think he’d save something like $31 million. On pass-through income, he’d save $16.5 million, he’d obviously save a lot not paying the estate tax, his heirs would — so how can you say that this is not a plan that would help him?

Gary Cohn, LYYYYYYYING: What the American people are concerned about is their financial position. [...] If we allow a family to keep another $1,000 of their income, what does that mean? They can renovate their kitchen, they can buy a new car, they can take a family vacation, they can increase their lifestyle. That’s what our tax plan is to do — our tax plan is aimed to return more income back to hard-working Americans.

Wait a minute, we hadn't heard that middle-class people would be getting a thou back from Uncle STEALER! Is it TRUE? Lol, no, it is not "true." When Gary Cohn talks about that middle-class family, he is talking about "a typical family earning $100,000 with two children." You know, instead of the ACTUAL typical family, which earns about $60 grand and will get back $270 -- if it's not all eaten up in new taxes to fuck both blue states and losers like you.

MORE IMPORTANTLY! What "car" is Gary Cohn talking about that costs a thousand dollars? Is it this one?

No, that one is $4500, it says it right on it!

Or how about that "kitchen renovation"? Kitchens are all white and marble this year, this is what he means, yes?

Is any kitchen reno complete without a 20-foot-wide kitchen island on which to desultorily slap together your kids' mayonnaise quesadilla?

Well, for a thousand dollar kitchen renovation budget, Better Homes and Gardens says you can paint your cabinets (yourself), slap up some cheap subway tile (yourself), and maybe get some baskets to hold your shit.

Don't get too excited though. Those paint cans and baskets are for the RICH middle class people, not assholes like you.


Wonkette is ad-free and absolutely relies on readers like YOU to keep us going (and going). (And this month you're a leeeetle behind!) May we have some more?

Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.


How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)


©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc