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Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.


After Paul Manafort failed to come correct on his his Russian blood money, he made his pissed off Russian partners an offer they couldn't refuse.

The Trump Taxes are here, and the loudest assholes in the room are the press who keep asking why are all these super rich people getting a fucking tax cut?

Sen. Lisa Murkowski is taking headshots at zombie TrumpCare, telling her colleagues that any health care law needs to be bipartisan.

Democrats are playing a dangerous game and daring Republicans to keep trying to strip healthcare from all the poors.

Because he's not happy picking fights with just one or two countries in Not America, Trump is now starting a trade war with Canada.

Now that Puerto Rico is a No Man's Land, Florida Democrats are opening their arms to welcome all the potential new voters who could tip the scales in future elections.

Trump is apparently pissed at Tom Price for skipping around fly-over country on fancy planes. Maybe he should have used Trump Air?

It's not just Tom Price who refuses to fly in steerage, Scott Pruitt has been using chartered military flights to avoid rubbing elbows with the rest of us regular folk.

Good news, heathens! A US District Judge has struck down a Kentucky anti-abortion law that required ultrasounds before abortions.

People in Baltimore's "Kushnerville" want to drag Prince Kushner into court and sue his smarmy ass for ruining their lives with with nickel and dime fees.

Some brain cases at one of those fancy schools crunched some numbers and found that Russian social media bullshit brainwashed racist uncles in swing states like Pennsyltucky, Florida and Michigan to push Trump over the edge.

A couple of Russian trolls were using a Muslim nonprofit's hacked Facebook account to shitpost bad memes and troll Hillary Clinton and John McCain.

In a desperate attempt to fall off the same cliff as the Trump Train, Paul Ryan was kicking Mitch McConnell on Hannity last night. He had charts, and graphs, just like Ross Perot!

Don't you dare tell Tucker Carlson he's a racist, or a white nationalist, or an ignorant fuck stick in a suit who doesn't know the first thing about struggling to survive on less than minimum wage like a common poor! Why, he just might make snippy comments on his teevee show about you!

Two weeks ago, when Little Donnie dumped his Secret Service chaperones and people started freaking out, he had actually decided to go moose hunting in Canada -- and he would have gotten away with it too, except he's A Idiot.

How bad is it to be broke AND black in America? Hint: It's really bad. And may Crom help you if you need to file for bankruptcy.

And here's your morning Nice Time! Prevost Squirrels!

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Dominic Gwinn

Dominic is a broke journalist in Chicago. You can find him in a dirty bar talking to weirdos, or lying in a gutter taking photos.

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Image: Dana Rohrabacher's office

The Associated Press finally called the race in California's 48th Congressional District late Saturday for Democratic challenger Harley Rouda, bringing an end to nearly 30 years in Congress for US Rep. Dana Rohrabacher. Over the years, Rohrabacher had represented not only his super-conservative Orange County district, but also the Taliban and Russia, and as his district has become more liberal -- or at least less frothingly rightwing John Birch Society-esque -- it was probably only a matter of time until his seat went blue. Rohrabacher's enthusiastic defenses of Donald Trump and of Vladimir Putin only hastened the swing this year. Too bad, so sad!

Let us bid a fond but not drawn out farewell to one of Congress's more spectacular idiots while we hope he's joined by many others, soon.

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HOLY WEEKEND NEWS DUMPS! While Donald Trump was across the ocean getting dunked on by Emmanuel Macron and skipping ceremonies for war heroes because he was scared his shithole hair would get messed up, journalists kept digging into the life and times of Trump's fake acting attorney general Matthew Whitaker, and DAMN. All's we know is that the Deep State must fuckin' HAAAAAAAAATE that guy, whose appointment was probably completely illegal and unconstitutional in the first place so why are we even talking about this.

We already knew bits and pieces about Matt Whitaker's scammy scummy fraud-y old gig, on the advisory board of a scammy scummy fraud-y company called World Patent Marketing, that did some MILD FRAUDS. When customers got mad, Whitaker would write them mean threatening letters. (You should read about how they "scammed US military veterans out of their life savings," as The Guardian puts it. Happy Veterans Day!)

What we didn't know -- and what one of the victims and also some other unknown people (deep state!) were more than happy to tell the Wall Street Journal -- is that FUCKIN' COMPANY IS UNDER FBI INVESTIGATION. And Whitaker was on the advisory board! And he made videos for the company! And he sent those mean threatening letters! What we're saying is that Whitaker is in deep.

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