Trump Throws Tantrum Over Infrastructure Deal, MAGA Senators Yawn

NO FAIR! Trump had like 84 infrastructure weeks during the four years he was president and managed to build nothing but a few miles of crappy border wall — and he had to steal military money to do even that. Biden has been president for six months, and now Republicans are going to help him fix our nation's roads and bridges? This aggression will not stand, man!

Politico is out with the afternoon tea, and it is hot with salty Trump tears over the Republicans handing Biden a win if they actually manage to get this infrastructure bill through Congress. Even worse, the old fart is doing his damnedest to torpedo the compromise package, and is mostly being ignored by his own MAGA senators who are inexplicably prioritizing the needs of Americans over an aging toddler's golf course shit-fit.

According to reporter Meredith McGraw, Trump's people are trying to spin this as a principled stand against evil environmental regulations and borrowing too much money when inflation remains a danger, although they "concede that they remain upset that a big bill wasn't passed while he was in the Oval."

Good that they didn't kick up too much of a fuss pretending this was anything but a selfish gambit, considering Trump has all but admitted he's just trying to stab the Biden administration in the back.

"Who are these RINO Republicans that are so dedicated to giving the Radical Left Democrats a big and beautiful win on Infrastructure?" he whined on his knock-off MyFace blogger page Monday. "Republican voters will never forget their name, nor will the people of our Country!"

Note that the health of our country's infrastructure is not mentioned.

"They had four years to do an infrastructure deal with someone who knows infrastructure and actually builds buildings," another Trump aide told McGraw. "I'm just speaking for myself, he hasn't said, 'Oh they should have done it with me,' but if they actually wanted infrastructure they would have done it when President Trump was in there."

Which is FUCKING AMAZING, because OMG, dude, we were all there. We all watched that guy flail around for four long years, promising over and over again that he was going to build all the beautiful roads and bridges, so many roads and bridges we'd all get tired of roading and bridging. And nothing ever bloody happened because Mitch McConnell is a nihilist ghoul who doesn't believe in government that actually works, so he spent all his time cutting millionaires' taxes and confirming lunatic 22-year-old judges. What were we going to build with a guy whose budget for clean water amounts to eight bucks and a bag of week-old dog shit?

And in 2019, when Trump finally realized that he'd have to work with Democrats to get anything done, he set up a meeting with Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer in the Oval Office. But then he blew that up, too, after he LOST HIS SHIT and refused to do anything until Democrats halted their Ukraine impeachment investigations.

Who can forget the crib sheet he brought for his hissy fit?

Pro Tip: You want to memory hole something, don't stick it in a folder labeled "ACHOMLISHMENTS." Because that shit is unforgettable. (See also: Covfefe.)

Anyhoo! Politico says that Trump's attempt to ratfuck the orderly function of government to screw Biden is running right up into a brick wall of LALALA I CAN'T HEAR YOU from his supposed supporters.

"The last time I told him there's not going to be any tax increases, and I'm of the opinion let's do a deal that's good for the roads, ports, and bridges. Let's do it," Sen. Lindsay Graham told Politico regarding pressure from Trump not to go along with the project. "I appreciate the effort of everyone and I'm hoping we get there."

"I've read the statements," said Sen. Kevin Cramer told Politico. "But it's a little short on specificity."

And we all know that Ol' Kev is a stickler for specificity. AHEM.

Sen. Rob Portman, who has been working to shepherd the bipartisan infrastructure bill through the Senate, has reportedly tried to get the old fool to get on board, or at least to quit whipping against it. But that's apparently going over like a wet fart in MAGA land, because Hellooooo, what's in it for Trump? But the pull of that logic appears to be wearing thin, with erstwhile allies leaning toward doing their actual freakin' jobs instead of dancing to one man's deranged tune. Maybe. Just this once.

Third verse, same as the first. Only it seems to be getting softer, and maybe a bit less worse?


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Liz Dye

Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.


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