Trump To Meet Grieving Texas Parents, Have A Little Fun, Maybe Take Them To An Arcade Or Water Park
Gun fun for the whole family! (Also, yes, idiots, we know those are BB guns)
Donald Trump is traveling to Texas today to meet with parents and family members of those who were killed and injured in the mass shooting at Santa Fe High school. Barack Obama always said meeting with the families of shooting victims was one of the most difficult, solemn parts of being president, especially because such shootings had somehow become an ugly fact of American life.
Donald Trump, on the other hand, was so chuffed about the economy and the possible resumption of talks with North Korea, which will surely win him that Nobel Peace Prize, that he seemed positively giddy about going to Texas so he could pose with another big wide grin and thumbs-up of empathy:
"We are going to Dallas, we are going to Houston. We are going to have a little fun today. Thank you very much," President Trump says as he head to Texas to meet with the families of Santa Fe school shooting victims https://t.co/LJJOcM4YsX pic.twitter.com/2sDFcgdoCX— CBS News (@CBSNews) May 31, 2018
Nope, he is not being quoted out of context there. After some chat about a letter being delivered by North Korean officials, Trump added,
Other than that, the economy is good, stock market's up, lotta jobs, best unemployment we've had in many, many decades, actually, and we're going to Dallas, we're going to Houston, and we're gonna have a little fun today. Thank you very much.
So sure, you can yell at CBS news for quoting him inaccurately there, making what he said a bit more formal. (Also, oops, wrong on the stock market, but who could anticipate new tariffs would tank the market?)
Off to Texas for a little fun. Just gonna talk to the grieving parents and have a little fun. Maybe cheer 'em up with news of how great the economy's doing, let them know that when they're feeling down and blue, things will look up. Like, for instance, remind them of how when all the lying pundits said he had no path to 270 electoral votes, state after state -- including the great state of Texas, as he's sure they know -- went to Trump. Maybe he'll even hand the parents a copy of that county-by-county map to frame right next to the pictures of their dead teenagers. Not that Trump will know the kids' names, even if he has a little emotional cue card to remind him to ask "What would you most want me to know about your experience? What can we do to help you feel safe?"
Still, Trump will do his best to be a supportive comforter-in-chief, like maybe visiting some survivors in the hospital and posing for photos with that big charming grin again:
God, he just loves people so much, and he's always so positive! Such a nice change from ol' President Crybaby, who either broke into tears just because 20 elementary school kids and six teachers were shot, or faked it all because he was secretly a Muslim who cheered the deaths of white children.
So have fun on your visit, Mr. Trump. We bet the grieving families will be all kinds of delighted when you surprise them with free honorary lifetime memberships to the NRA and a promise that you'll get more guns into the hands of trained experts who may or may not be able to send bullets in the other direction.
Clearly, we simply misheard him. He meant he was going to have some FUNDS today. Guy really needs to enunciate.
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Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.