Trump Unmasking Probe Goes Limp, Like Every Other Attempt To Screw This Election

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Yet another Trumpland BIGGEST SCANDAL SINCE WATERGATE bites the dust. Yeah, don't faint.

The Washington Post reports that the very serious inquiry into "unmasking" abuses by the Obama administration has quietly been closed without criminal charges or a public report. Because the American public needed to be informed that the Justice Department was undertaking a criminal investigation of whatever bullshit conspiracy theory the wingnuttosphere crapped out — in blatant violation of longstanding DOJ policy not to comment on a pending investigation — but when it finds no wrongdoing, it's a state secret.

"The attorney general determined that certain aspects of unmasking needed to be reviewed," DOJ spokestwit Kerri Kupec told Sean Hannity (of course!) in May. "We know that unmasking inherently isn't wrong, but . . . can be problematic."

"The frequency, who was unmasking whom, all of these circumstances and events can shed light and give us a better understanding of what happened with respect to President Trump, his campaign and, of course, what happened after he was elected, as well," she added

In other words ... OBAMAGATE.

Play Freebird!


The theory, and we use that term generously, was that government officials who had every right to determine the identity of US government persons intercepted in wiretaps of foreign government agents — in this case, Michael Flynn promising sanctions relief to the Russian ambassador during the presidential transition period — somehow lost the right to do that because they harbored hatred in their hearts.

Or ... something. Listen, the details of OBAMAGATE have never been all that clear. Do you ask how the Tooth Fairy manages to get that quarter under your pillow, or do you just take the money and run to the nearest slot machine hoping to hit the jackpot? Sometimes you just have to believe!

And make idiotic puns as you spew your filthy germs all over your coworkers.

John Bash, who resigned from the Department of Justice last week, was appointed by Attorney General Bill Barr in May to take over a chunk of the Russia investigation from the famously slow John Durham. If the bet was that dividing the work made it more likely that Trump would get to perp walk someone before the election, it appears not to have paid off. Bash came up empty, and Durham has already made it clear he's giving up nothing before November.

So, for those of you keeping count at home, that's a big nothing from US Attorney John Huber's investigation of Hillary's buttery males, nothing from Inspector General Michael Horowitz to indicate that the Russian investigation was improperly predicated or that the FBI was biased, no charges from the James Comey leak investigation, a grand jury that appears to have refused to indict Andy McCabe, nothing from Bash, and probably nothing from Durham either when all is said and done.

BUP. KISS.

Pour one out for on Devin Nunes and Jim Jordan and all their lunatic pals at the Epoch Times who promised us indictments were coming if only they could get control of the Justice Department. They were apparently able to save Trump's pals Roger Stone and Mike Flynn from getting their just deserts, but doing LOCK HER UPS to Hillary Clinton and Joe Biden is a bridge too far.

Oh, sure, they can try it with whatever warmed over 2016 Laptop/Emails/Sextape/Ukraine/Russian disinfo redux Giuliani and Bannon are cooking up, but it's not gonna work. They shot their wad, and now they can go towel off in ignominy.

And speaking of ignominy, guess who's getting kicked to the curb for his pains.

Can you guess?

That's right, it's Bill Barr, who destroyed the DOJ and his own reputation, only to be spit on like a common Jeff Sessions.

Asked by Newsmax's Greg Kelly if he'd be keeping Barr around for a second term, Trump replied, "I have no comment. Can't comment on that. It's too early. I'm not happy with all of the evidence I have, I can tell you that. I'm not happy."

"Personally, I think it's ridiculous. It's ridiculous. It's a disgrace," Trump fumed to Kelly about the news that Bash wasn't going to be indicting anyone. "I think it's really a horrible thing that they're allowed to get away — when they say no indictments, they actually said no indictments before the election.

"I had to go through elections with all those clouds over my head. But they don't because the Republicans are so nice. Personally, I think it's too bad. I think it's too bad, they're guilty as hell."

WHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE.

Enjoy the wilderness, assholes. You're gonna be there for a while.

[WaPo / Newsmax]

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Liz Dye

Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.

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