Trump Urges Voters To Reject Don Blankenship, Who's As Bad As That Alabama Loser He Backed

Killed 29 miners, but allowed in every mall in the state.

Donald Trump has been busy tweeting this morning, with the usual bullshit about how the Democrats who run the FBI are out to steal his magic bag and there's no such thing as obstruction of justice if you're fighting back, and you know he means it because every Noun is capitalized. In among the weighty matters of state, Trump weighed in on a matter in a state, specifically tomorrow's Republican primary in West Virginia, where murdery former mining CEO Don Blankenship -- a convicted criminal whose probation only ends this week -- is running a complete Fuck You I Heart Racism campaign against two other Rs who are merely rightwing and terrible:

Yes! Remember Alabama, where Donald Trump endorsed the mainstream Republican Luther Strange, then went on stage to talk about what a great guy Roy Moore was. After Moore won the primary, Trump explained he'd always liked Moore better, and he never should have listened to the advisers who made him endorse Strange. Trump then stayed with Moore, even after the revelations that Moore had a history of trying to rape teenage girls. Trump LOVED Roy Moore, at least until Moore lost, at which point Trump declared he'd never liked Moore because he was unelectable.

OK, fine, don't remember Alabama in too much detail. Instead, remember the part where Roy Moore lost, that's all, OK? So people should always vote the way Donald Trump tells them to, except for when he told them to vote for Luther Strange and to vote for Roy Moore -- wait, you're over-thinking it again.

The point here is that Don Blankenship is such a toxic bastard -- what with that little old 2010 mine explosion that killed 29 miners after Massey Energy ignored basic safety -- that not even Donald Trump thinks Blankenship has a chance to win against incumbent Joe Manchin. It certainly can't be Blankenship's actual ideas that Trump objects to, since Trump thinks "safety" and "health" regulations just get in the way of prosperity, and we can't imagine Trump is bothered at all by Blankenship's ads ripping Mitch McConnell for creating "millions of jobs for Chinapeople" and being supported by his "China family," because when did Donald Trump ever meet a racist he didn't like (until he had to say he didn't)?

Mind you, if Don Blankenship manages to win in West Virginia tomorrow, you can bet Donald Trump will fly there to shake his hand and defend him as a great American businessman, the perfect guy to beat Joe Manchin in the fall. And if Manchin is reelected, Trump will tweet that he never liked Blankenship at all. Just roll with him on this, OK?

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Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.


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