Trump USDA Idiot Sam Clovis Pulling Out To Spend More Time With Robert Mueller

I can see your halo, halo, halo ... OK this caption doesn't even make sense, that song is just in our head right now.

Hahahahahahaha, that was fast! Sam Clovis, Trump's pick to be the president of science at the USDA (even though he is #NotAScientist), has decided he suddenly no longer wants the job, now that it appears he is all dirty in Robert Mueller's Trump-Russia probe. Get a load of Clovis's whiny ass titty baby letter to Donald Trump, sent on Wednesday:

“The political climate inside Washington has made it impossible for me to receive balanced and fair consideration for this position,” Clovis wrote in the letter. “The relentless assaults on you and your team seem to be a blood sport that only increases in intensity each day. As I am focused on your success and the success of this Administration, I do not want to be a distraction or negative influence, particularly with so much important work left to do for the American people.”

It's OK to laugh, everyone, because it's pathetic. He's just doing this because of the unfair "assaults" on Trump, which are only happening because the Fake News Robert Mueller Hillary Uranium CNN Deep State are convinced for some reason (it's called evidence) that the Trump campaign may have colluded with Russia to steal the 2016 election. Ridiculous!

Clovis's name, of course, came up in the first guilty plea Mueller scored in the investigation, as he was a supervisor to George Papadopoulos, who literally admitted to working a scheme to collude with Russia to get dirty hacked Hillary Clinton emails. Hell, Clovis was the one who brought Papadopoulos and dumbest Russian spy idiot ever Carter Page onto the Trump national security team Jeff Sessions was running! Papadopoulos worked very hard to set up high-level secret meetings between the Trump campaign and bigwig Russians, and for his efforts, Clovis told him, "Great work!" Clovis also encouraged Papadopoulos to make an off-the-books trip to Russia, because that's a totally normal thing to do in the middle of an American presidential campaign.

Clovis met with Mueller last week and also testified before his grand jury, so it's pretty clear the investigation has him in its sights. Did he flip on Trump and just write that sweet 'n' ass-kissy letter to keep the cranky baby in the White House pacified? Or is he really that stupid? (COULD IT BE BOTH?)

As for our new little friend Papadopoulos, it sounds like he was the complete opposite of a "coffee boy," as the White House would like us to believe. Seth Abramson (we know, we know) has a long, well-sourced thread that shows Papadopoulos being an integral part of the campaign all the way up to the inauguration, and possibly being a part of Trump World all the way up to when SOMEBODY (Paul Manafort) leaked the emails about Papadopoulos trying to conspire with Russians. If so, Robert Mueller might have picked just the right guy to wear a wire and go get some Trump idiots to admit some Russia shit.

SPEAKING OF JEFF SESSIONS! Guess who suddenly "remembers" how he supposedly poo-pooed (yeah right) all over the idea of George Papadopoulos setting up a meeting between Trump and Putin? That's right, it's Jeff Sessions!

Time for Al Franken to haul Bubba Butterscotches in front of the committee again, to see if he can get him to do some more perjuries!

Anyway, if Clovis has indeed flipped, it sounds to us like a bunch of Trump motherfuckers are about to go down in FLAMES. America might have a nice Christmas after all!

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[Washington Post]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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