The Republican outrage factory is working overtime to pump out bullshit today, and they're flinging all the cowpies they can scoop up in their filthy little paws at the House Intelligence Chairman. The GOP has finally found the real COLLUSION, and it is Adam Schiff!

After Bill Barr's Itty Bitty Book Report, the howler monkey brigade has seized on the NO CONCLUSION as evidence that the entire investigation was illegitimate from the jump. You know, just like with Hillary Clinton's email server after the FBI found no reason to charge her. And Benghazi. And Uranium One. And Vince Foster. And Whitewater. Ahem.

Anyway, the GOP is in no mood to shit on Mueller, who just "exonerated" their guy, so they've set their sights on Schiff. Trump already called for him to be "forced to resign" from Congress, just this morning, and right on time here's Texas Congressman Mike Conaway (R-Chutzpah) opening this morning's hearing into Russian interference into our election by demanding that Schiff resign as chair of the House Intelligence Committee.

Oh, noes! Did Adam Schiff ninja out of an Uber and race over to get leaked intel from the White House, then return to announce that he'd gotten top secret whistle blower data to deliver to the White House, and then hold a press conference at the White House mooing about Obama's secret "wire tapps" of the Trump campaign? LOL, we are silly! That was then-House Intel Committee (HPSCI) chair Devin Nunes (R-Gem), straight makin' shit up in an attempt to murder the Russia investigation. The optics on that one were so bad that poor Devin had to pretend to recuse himself from the Russia investigation. So now the GOP would like Schiff to resign too, please, for the dastardly crime of pointing out that pretty much everyone in Trumpland was only too delighted to accept an electoral boost from Russia, and if they didn't manage to collude, it sure as hell wasn't from lack of trying.

Conaway entered into the record a letter signed by all nine Republicans on the Intel Committee demanding that Schiff quitfire himself for abusing his position "to knowingly promote false information, having damaged the integrity of this Committee, and undermined faith in U.S. government institutions." Which is pretty fucking rich coming from a bunch of partisan liars who spent the past two years screaming about the DEEP STATE FBI and threatening to hold the Deputy Attorney General in contempt of Congress.

But Adam Schiff is not here for Republican bullshit. Here he is asking why it is exactly that the GOP is totes cool with everyone in the Trump campaign staring soulfully into Russia's eyes, taking long walks on the beach, kissing 'til their mouths go numb, and doing EVERYTHING BUT consummating their love on the gold escalator of Trump Tower.

It's a stemwinder, but we're going to quote it here in its entirety because it's really important.

My colleagues may think it's okay that the Russians offered dirt on the Democratic candidate for president as part of what was described as "the Russian government's effort to help the Trump campaign." You might think that's okay. My colleagues might think it's okay that when that was offered to the son of the president, who had a pivotal role in the campaign, that the president's son did not call the FBI, he did not adamantly refuse that foreign help. No, instead that son said that he would "love" the help of the Russians. You might think it's okay that he took that meeting.

You might think it's okay that Paul Manafort, the campaign chair, someone with great experience running campaigns, also took that meeting. You might think it's okay that the president's son-in-law also took that meeting. You might think it's okay that they concealed it from the public. You might think it's okay that their only disappointment after that meeting was that the dirt they received on Hillary Clinton wasn't better. You might think that's okay.

You might think it's okay that when it was discovered a year later that they'd lied about that meeting and said it was about adoptions, you might think it's okay that the president is reported to have helped dictate that lie. You might think that's okay. I don't. You might think it's okay that the presidential chairman of a campaign would offer information about that campaign to a Russian in exchange for money or debt forgiveness. You might think that's okay. I don't.

You might think it's okay that campaign chairman offered polling data, campaign polling data to someone linked to Russian intelligence. I don't think that's okay. You might think it's okay that the president himself called on Russia to hack his opponent's emails, 'if they were listening.' You might think it's okay that later that day, in fact, the Russians attempted to hack a server affiliated with that campaign. I don't think that's okay. You might think that it's okay that the president's son-in-law sought to establish a secret back channel of communications with the Russians through a Russian diplomatic facility. I don't think that's okay.

You might think it's okay that an associate of the president made direct contact with the GRU through Guccifer 2 and Wikileaks, that is considered a hostile intelligence agency. You might think that it's okay that a senior campaign official was instructed to reach that associate and find out what that hostile intelligence agency had to say, in terms of dirt on his opponent.You might think it's okay that the National Security Advisor-Designate secretly conferred with the Russian ambassador about undermining U.S. sanctions, and you might think it's okay he lied about it to the FBI.

You might say that's all okay. You might say that's just what you need to do to win, but I don't think it's okay. I think it's immoral. I think it's unethical. I think it's unpatriotic. And yes, I think it's corrupt and evidence of collusion.

Do not come for Adam Schiff, Mikey. He sees your treasonous, Russia-loving, Trump-stooge, unpatriotic ass coming a mile off.


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Five Dollar Feminist

Your FDF lives in Baltimore under an assumed identity as an upstanding member of the PTA. Shhh, don't tell anyone she makes swears on the internet!

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Once upon a time... about ten years ago, a group of entirely ridiculous men burst onto the scene wearing stupid hats and telling men that wearing stupid hats and telling men that walking up to women in bars and insulting ("negging") them would get them laid. This did not last long, as women also had televisions and computers and were completely aware of these tricks as well, so when some ass came up to us in a bar and said "Hey, nice nails, are they real?" we would laugh and laugh and loudly announce "Oh my god, this guy just tried to neg me! Can you believe that shit? HEY EVERYONE, THIS GUY JUST TRIED TO NEG ME!" and then refer to him as "Mystery" the whole night.

Most of the men who tried that shit only did so a few times before realizing that it wasn't going to work, and thus moved on to other things. Perhaps things that did not involve furry hats and coming off as a huge creep. We may never know, because I would assume that those who tried it are now extremely embarrassed and would never, ever admit to this to us.

Still, there were a few men willing to eat that shit up, as well as some grifters willing to take advantage of that. Said grifters tended to be extremely misogynistic and seemed more like they were teaching men how to be as despised by women as they were than teaching them how to actually be liked by women.

Some of them, like Roosh V, a creepy weirdo who actually does live in his mom's basement, actively encouraged men to rape women who were intoxicated to the point of being obviously unable to consent.

However, even that branch of the PUA tree is wilting away. Many "self-help" style PUA forums like Nextasf and RSDnation are shutting down or have already shut down. In March, Chateau Heartiste, a batshit crazy PUA turned White Nationalist/Alt-Right blog was shut down by Wordpress. This week, rape advocate Roosh V (whom you may recall once called yours truly a "Wonkette typist/clown face, would not bang") announced that he was renouncing his PUA ways and devoting himself to Jesus. He explained to the forum he manages that he would no longer be allowing anyone to discuss premarital "fornication."

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'Baby Geniuses' star Jon Voight took to Twitter early this morning to proclaim his undying love for Donald Trump, probably because there is no one left in his life who will listen to him talk about this, or anything else, in person. In this video rant, Voight encouraged members of the Republican Party, whom he apparently thinks are the only real citizens of the United States, to stand by Donald Trump and "acknowledge the truth" that he is the best President since Abraham Lincoln.

Part ONE:

People of the Republican Party, I know you will agree with me when I say our president has our utmost respect and our love. This job is not easy. For he's battling the left and their absurd words of destruction. I've said this once and I'll say this again. That our nation has been built on the solid ground from our forefathers, and there is a moral code of duty that has been passed on from President Lincoln. I'm here today to acknowledge the truth, and I'm here today to tell you my fellow Americans that our country…

Oh no, not our absurd words of destruction!

Part DEUX:

is stronger, safer, and with more jobs because our President has made his every move correct. Don't be fooled by the political left, because we are the people of this nation that is witnessing triumph. So let us stand with our president. Let us stand up for this truth, that President Trump is the greatest president since President Lincoln.

Does Jon Voight not know there have been... other presidents? Can he name them? Because really, it does not sound like it. Does he also not know that a very big chunk of the Republican Party actually does not care very much for Abraham Lincoln? Namely those defenders of Confederate statues that Trump called "very fine people?" Also, did he intentionally diss their beloved Ronald Reagan?

Who can know? Who can even tell what he is trying to say or why he is trying to say it. He doesn't appear to have tweeted much since 2016, so I'm guessing whoever's job it was to keep him from tanking his career quit. Either that... or after filming the seventh season of Ray Donovan, he found out it's going to be canceled or his character is getting killed off or something and he is now free to be a jackass? I don't know, I haven't watched the show, although my parents are very into it and mad that I haven't watched it. Literally all I know about it is that it has something to do with Boston, because they keep mentioning that to me like it's a selling point.

It seems useless at this point to note that the people who scream their faces off about how bad it is for Hollywood celebs to support liberal causes, and how they should keep their politics to themselves, etc. etc. make a way bigger deal than normal people do whenever a Big Time Hollywood Celebrity like Jon Voight or, uh, Scott Baio, supports their cause. Mostly because they're the only ones who have elected a reality TV star and the star of Bedtime for Bonzo (who by the way, also once practically ruined a perfectly good Bette Davis movie with his bad acting. Which is not to say that Dark Victory is not fantastic and probably the best thing to watch if you want to sob your face off, but he was very bad in it.) to run the country.

But we might as well do that anyway, because it actually never stops being funny.

[Jon Voight Twitter]

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