Trump Wishes He Had Attacked Capitol Personally, And 568,761 Other Bugf*ck Quotes From His WaPo Interview

Remember the old days, when once a week or so Maggie Haberman or the Axios bullet point squad would sit down with Donald Trump and copy/paste just miles and miles of bugfuck and batshit that fell out of the then-president's mouth? We don't miss those days.

But WaPo's Josh Dawsey recently went down to Mar-a-Lago to hook his mouth up to the bugfuck spigot, and oh boy, he got some goodies.

Trump Wishes He Could Have Attacked Capitol Personally

We all know what happened on January 6, when months of incitement and fascist Big Lies from Trump about the election he lost culminated in a domestic terrorist attack on the United States Capitol. Donald Trump told his followers he was going to join them in their march to the Capitol, but instead he waddled back to the White House and gleefully watched the attack on TV.

But oh boy, he wishes he could have gone:

Trump said he deserved more credit for drawing such a large crowd to the Ellipse — and that he pressed to march on the Capitol with his supporters but was stopped by his security detail. “Secret Service said I couldn’t go. I would have gone there in a minute," he said.

So that's damning. Of course he probably would have just slowed the attackers down, especially if there were any ramps involved.


Trump Not Missing For Seven Hours, NANCY PELOSI Missing For Seven Hours!

Trump would have done something about that whole riot he incited if he could have, but he couldn't have, because it wasn't his job, it was somebody else's job:

“I thought it was a shame, and I kept asking why isn’t she doing something about it? Why isn’t Nancy Pelosi doing something about it? And the mayor of D.C. also. The mayor of D.C. and Nancy Pelosi are in charge,” Trump said of the Jan. 6, 2021, riot in a 45-minute interview with The Washington Post. “I hated seeing it. I hated seeing it. And I said, ‘It’s got to be taken care of,’ and I assumed they were taking care of it.”

If somebody had only told him Pelosi wasn't fixing it! Opportunity missed.

Also, about all those missing phone records, Trump told Dawsey he doesn't think he got "very many" telephone calls that day — "Why would I care about who called me?" he literally asked, about the hours during the attack on the homeland that he incited — and still says he recalls exactly zero burner phones. What is "burner" again"?

Trump Pretty Excited About Size Of Crowd That Came Out To Tailgate His Insurrection

So pathetic:

“The crowd was far bigger than I even thought. I believe it was the largest crowd I’ve ever spoken to. I don’t know what that means, but you see very few pictures. They don’t want to show pictures, the fake news doesn’t want to show pictures,” he said. “But this was a tremendous crowd.”

There must have been at least a billion people there!

Hey Remember That Batshit TV Doctor Scott Atlas Trump Brought Into The White House?

The one who hated masks and figured the best strategy was to do nothing about coronavirus? He was farting around Mar-a-Lago during the interview for some reason.

“Doc!” Trump said, before complimenting Atlas on losing weight. “Look who we have here!”

“This is the center of the universe,” he said, shortly after Atlas walked away. “Come back later,” he hollered after him.

Yeah we bet. "The universe."

Donald Trump Loves Volodymyr Zelenskyy! Because Remember After The Perfect Call When Zelenskyy Said 'No Quid Pro Quo' And That Trump Did Nothing Wrong?

“I liked Zelensky from the beginning for one reason. When we had the impeachment hoax, based on a perfect phone call, he totally backed me up, and I didn’t ask him to do that. They asked him, and he said, he absolutely did nothing wrong," Trump said. “He said there was no quid pro quo. He didn’t even know what his people were talking about. He thought they were crazy. ... So I gained great respect for him there.”

Zelenskyy did no such thing.

Everybody said it was a quid pro quo.


OK John Bolton called it a "drug deal," but everybody else.

Donald Trump Still Loves Vladimir Putin More Though!

He just can't stop himself:

He said he thought Russian President Vladimir Putin was a savvy negotiator for sending troops to the Ukrainian border ...

A "savvy negotiator." For amassing troops on the Ukrainian border, and then proceeding to send those troops across the border to massacre small children in the streets. We all realize that if Trump was still president, he'd be openly encouraging Putin's war from the White House, right? He just can't stop himself.

Trump did say that "they" could stop Putin's war by "lower the price of oil by using the liquid gold we have underneath our feet." Is that how that works? Does anybody think Trump knows how that works?

Donald Trump Also Loves Viktor Orban, Who Only Is Still Leader Of Hungary Because Trump Endorsed Him.

You know how Hungarian voters are, always waiting for direction from Mar-a-Lago.

Earlier this week, Trump claimed, Viktor Orban, the prime minister of Hungary, called him to thank him for endorsing him and to credit Trump with the win. “After I endorsed him, he went up like a rocket ship,” Trump claimed of his unusual endorsement.

Everybody else calls him for endorsements too. Everybody in the whole world.

“These other leaders, they want endorsements,” he said. “I’m the king of endorsements. It’s more than just this country. It’s other countries."

He declined to specify which other world leaders had pressed him for an endorsement — or whether he would be giving more. “You’ll see,” he said.
Does modern psychiatry have meds for whatever this condition is?

Babble Babble Millions Of Illegal Votes Babble Babble Ron DeSantis Owes Me Everything Babble Babble Is He Running Again In 2024? He's Not Telling But Everybody Will Be Very Happy When They Find Out Babble Babble Babble

That's what the rest of the interview says, basically.

The end.

[Washington Post]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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