Trump Will Order Americans To Burn More Coal, To Whip The Kaiser!
Once upon a time, from 2009 to 2017, America had this sexxxxxxy, kind, smart president, by the name of Barry O'Bamzalot. Look, this was him:
But America ain't got that no more. :(
Now all's we got is this million-pound orange chunk of twice-baked rhinoceros foreskin:
It is a very sad time for America.
When the hot guy at the top of this post was still president of America, our neighbor to the north, which is called Canada, scored itself this hot piece o' ass:
That hot piece o' ass loved our American hot piece o' ass so much!
He doesn't like our new Thing so much:
In fact, hot Canada Man is pretty pissed at our dumb president RIGHT THIS SECOND, because of tariffs.
When the Marmalade Cockwaffle became president of America, this guy right here became president of France:
He is pretending to have a bromance with our dumb president, because he is smart enough to know that if you constantly praise our dumb president and make him feel sexxxy, it's not too hard to play him:
Our point with this post is that Canada and France have hot leaders, and the emperor of Ireland isn't so bad himself, and we are pretty sure at this point that the entire world is trolling us. Like "Hey America, how are you doing today? Here is the leader of my foreign country. He is very pretty and he is not afraid of stairs like yours is, and also he is capable of saying words and he isn't an incompetent loser like that thing that runs your country, President Poot Spank or whatever his name is. ARE YOU SO JEALOUS RIGHT NOW?"
Spain has a new prime minister, and he is named Pedro Sánchez, and he is hot. And yes, he has an Instagram, so we will lift some pics from there to show you!
Say it with us: OH HEEEEEEEEEEEY THERE.
SORRY GENTLEMEN AND LADIES, but he is married, and his wife is Begoña Fernández, and we are sure she's just great, so HANDS OFF THE SPANISH PRIME MINISTER.
Anyway, this is a happy post, about SOMEBODY ELSE'S COUNTRY having a hot prime minister, and now you may commence to weeping for what America has lost in this, your end-of-a-shitty-week OPEN THREAD.
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Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.