Trump Will Send American Ventilators To Vladimir Putin Because YOU CANNOT MAKE THIS SH*T UP
If you had Trump shipping desperately needed medical supplies to his pal Pootie during a pandemic, you are one sick puppy. You are also TODAY'S BIG WINNER in the Shit You Couldn't Make Up But Is Somehow Real In This Fucking Hellscape We All Live In Now contest. Please see Vanna White to collect your valuable No Prize.
The AP reports that Trump was actually serious on Wednesday when he barfed out that nonsense at his MAGA rally corona briefing about sending PPE overseas during a pandemic.
We're going to be helping other nations. We're going to be helping Italy, Spain, France, other nations. And we're going to be helping them strongly. I think Russia is going to need ventilators. They're having a hard time in Moscow. We're going to help them. We're going to help other countries that need ventilators.
We're going to have a lot. You see it with General Motors. You see it with other companies that are producing. We're going to have hundreds of thousands of ventilators. And it's a great thing to have.
So, for those of you keeping score at home ...
New York Governor Andrew Cuomo is incompetent because he didn't stockpile ventilators. Illinois Governor J.B. Pritzker is a whiner because he complains about the Trump administration's failure to invoke the Defense Production Act. It is not the responsibility of the federal government to ensure supply of ventilators or PPE for the states, or to stabilize the market to prevent states driving up the price as they compete against each other for equipment. In fact, it is hilarious when FEMA outbids the states for face masks. The states are on their own to source medical supplies, although the federal government may take advantage of this emergency to seize those supplies at the border. The threat of the DPA is enough to ensure supply of ventilators, although GM's CEO Mary Barra is a loser because she didn't start producing ventilators at a plant in Ohio which the company sold last year. (Invoke P!) Other countries should continue to send us medicine and PPE, but Trump has ordered 3M to stop shipping masks to Canada or Latin America. And the Strategic National Stockpile belongs to the federal government, not the states, which is why Donald Trump can ship supplies overseas when Americans are dying.
Did we leave anything out?
"Russia will certainly accept the kind offer if necessary," Kremlin spokesman Dmitry Peskov said on Thursday. Which is exactly what he said to Michael Cohen in 2016 about the offer to "give" Vladimir Putin a $50 million condo in the Trump Tower Moscow should those dipshits at the Trump Organization manage to get it built. Don't you love when they bring characters back for the second season?
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Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.