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HE WENT TO JARED


According to 5 U.S. Code § 3110, it is very much against the law for Donald Trump to hire his son, or his daughter, or his son-in-law Jared Kushner, to be his senior advisor. (Unless you're this guy, who says it's not against the law, because #reasons.) The law is very clear, going so far as to say it applies to presidents, and that sons-in-law count as "family." But Donald Trump seems to be hellbent on breaking as many laws as he can the day he is inaugurated, so he's tapping his sexxxy, evil son-in-law Jared Kushner to be a senior advisor:

"Overcoming." Jared Kushner Shall Overcome. LORD HAVE MERCY. Oh, the Trump regime and the way they use words that do not mean what they think they mean, or sometimes redefine words as they see fit, since they know the people who voted for them are dumb and functionally illiterate anyway.

We learned back in November, through the Fake News, that Trump was trying to get security clearances for his kids and for the son-in-law he has a crush on, and that he wanted them to be "unpaid national security advisors." And indeed, if Jared doesn't take dollars for his job working for his father-in-law, that might be a little loophole around that law! It's not, in any way, the way things are supposed to be done, but the Trumps don't care about any of that.

But stop worrying, everyone, their lawyers are ON IT:

"Mr. Kushner is committed to complying with federal ethics laws and we have been consulting with the Office of Government Ethics regarding the steps he would take," Kushner's lawyer said in a statement.

Kushner will resign from his company, divest "substantial assets," and recuse himself from matters that would impact his financial interests, [attorney Jamie] Gorelick said.

It's FINE. Jared will stop doing real estate deals with companies full of Chinese money, and he and Ivanka will live in their sexxxy new house in Kalorama, two blocks from the Obamas, and they will go to work in the White House every single day, where their precious children will not be allowed to swing on the swingset or go down the slide, because Grandpappy Pussgrab rejected the nice playground equipment at the White House, and because Trump children are not allowed to experience joy. Jared will whisper sweet nothings into Donald's ear all day long while they cuddle in the Oval Office in matching Snuggies, while Ivanka does First Lady-ing over in the East Wing, and all of this is totally normal, seriously, it's just about the normal-est fucking situation we've ever dealt with, good god, why are we even still talking about this, since it's all so normal?

[What The Damn Law Says / NBC]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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It's the night before the two-night Democratic primary debate extravaganza, and we're already tired. Turns out having 20 candidates spread across two nights when only six or eight of them matter is not the must-see TV we all thought it was going to be! But that's not to dissuade you from getting excited! We're excited! We're so excited! We're so ...

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SCARED!

In case you need a reminder, here is how it's going to go down:

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After a cursory examination of the TWELVE filings in the case against California Congressman Duncan Hunter just in the past 24 hours, we can confidently declare that that guy is a fucking idiot. The prosecutors have him by every last one of his short and curlies -- which is what happens when you use your campaign credit card to pay for hundreds of thousands of dollars of ski trips, video games, tuition, and plane tickets for the family rabbit.

A rational human being would have pleaded down a year ago and given up his congressional seat, since he could cash out and make a lot more money as a lobbyist anyway. But not Duncan Hunter! He made the federal government chase him down and document every last carton of cigarettes, round of tequila, and Uber ride of shame home from his many girlfriends' houses in a 60-count indictment filed last August. And still this dumb sumbitch refused to admit he was caught, even after his lovely wife (and co-conspirator) Margaret Hunter flipped on him this month -- which is what happens when you use your campaign credit card to carry on multiple affairs and you piss off the US Attorneys enough that they put every 7 a.m. Uber ride in your indictment.

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