It's a day in 2020, so it's time for another blog post about Donald Trump's thin skin and his weak body and just his general malaise about life. Y'all heard he's losing really fuckin' hard, right? He is. This tweet just confirms it.
Sorry to inform the Do Nothing Democrats, but I am getting VERY GOOD internal Polling Numbers. Just like 2016, the… https: //t.co/KSlS8Zg1zJ
— Donald J. Trump (@Donald J. Trump) 1593440757.0
LOL sad.
So yeah, in 2016 the polls were a little off, at least some of them, and the Trump campaign is clinging to that like a gun and a Bible. Mostly though, the polls weren't that wrong, and were within the margin of error. What nobody saw coming was Trump pulling out a tiny squeaker in three states, after his campaign chair passed internal polling data on those three states to the Russians, and after then-FBI director James Comey busted in 11 days before the election -- around the time most of the big polling slows down -- and injected new "concerns" about Hillary Clinton's email "scandal" into the race.
in other words, in 2016, the polls were not wrong on the level of "The New York Times and Fox News and CNN and everybody else say Trump is losing by more than 10 points, now watch him win in a landslide!"
Anyway, Trump says his internal polling numbers are awesome, and if he's actually getting awesome internal polling numbers, that means his people are just lying to him, because he's really melting the fuck down up there in his Big Mac Tower. (Either that or he's getting CANTOR BEATS BRAT! headlines stuffed in his panties by noted good pollster John McLaughlin.)
On that note, The Daily Beast reports that after Trump completely bone-banged what was supposed to be a softball question from his good buddy Sean Hannity the other night -- What would you like to do in a second term? -- that actually the Trump campaign is making some plans for that unlikely eventuality. (They want to do Infrastructure Week! No really. And, like, make the Trump tax cuts permanent.)
But mostly, at least for Trump personally, what he wants out of a second term is to not be remembered as a big stinky one-term loser.
"The president has told me [on multiple occasions] that he is determined to not be a one-termer, and says that history forever remembers them as 'losers,'" said a former senior Trump administration official.
Haha, joke is on him, he's already a loser, and the second he's gone, we're going to do everything we can to start forgetting and erasing his presidency.
"A lot of it is about legacy for him and how he will be remembered. And if he loses, I don't think he'll take a defeat [at the hands of] Biden, of all possible people, lightly."
"Legacy." Big words for such a small presidency!
We do feel like we remember one of Trump's temper tantrums at campaign manager Brad Parscale, or just about his shitty polling numbers in general, is that he is extremely offended he is losing so badly to Joe Biden . Oh well, loser's gotta lose to somebody, might as well be Joe.
The Daily Beast has another source who says Trump's been whining along these lines since 2018. And as John Bolton's book and all other available evidence has shown, literally everything Trump does, whether it's getting impeached for bribe-extorting Ukraine to steal him an election or asking China to steal him an election or asking Russia to steal him an election -- it's all based on that one fear. And the traditional way of winning elections ("make people like you") is off the table, so he's got to resort to more underhanded methods.
Despite Trump's flaccid bragging up there about his VERY GOOD secret poll numbers, reports are everywhere right now that he's starting to figure out what a loser he is, and people are even making rumbles about how he might want to quit while he's behind and let Mike Pence lose to Joe Biden in his place. Politico has former Trump adviser Sam Nunberg saying if Trump's numbers go down any more -- and they will -- that "He's going to be facing realistically a 400-plus electoral vote loss and the president would need to strongly reconsider whether he wants to continue to run as the Republican presidential nominee."
Meanwhile, Fox Business reporter Charles Gasparino had a gossipy thread this weekend, saying Trump is in a "fragile" mood, and that Republican bigwigs are starting to whisper that maybe he should drop out. The Independent reports in its own gossipy story that an "anonymous GOP insider" told Fox News that "if the polls continue to worsen, you can see a scenario where he drops out." Another insider said, "I've heard the talk but I doubt it's true. My bet is, he drops if he believes there's no way to win." So Trump is definitely not going to drop out, unless he is, in which case he totally is. Thanks, anonymous GOP insider!
Don't worry, though, because Trump is going to fix it, and here's how:
Trump, who vented for days about the [big loser Tulsa rally], is starting to take a more hands-on role in the campaign and has expressed openness to adding more people to the team. [...]
Trump's son-in-law Jared Kushner, who effectively oversees the campaign from the White House, is expected to play an even more active role.
Hahahahahahahahahahaha Trump is going to help more and Jared, Crown Prince of Failure, is going to help more and that's how they're going to fix it hahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
We can't possibly think of any funnier way to end this post, so it's over now, OPEN THREAD.
[ Daily Beast / Politico ]
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And thus began the Bowling Green Massacre.
"The answer, my friend, is bowling in the Green,
The answer is bowling in the Green."
[wipes off earworm injector, slips in pocket, scampers off]