TrumpCare Rises From The Grave! Your Wonkagenda for April 26, 2017
Good thing you can afford a TrumpCare Gold plan.
Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.
- A federal judge in San Francisco has blocked Trump's ban on funding sanctuary cities, sending Trump into a furious Twitter rage as he realizes that Congress controls the power of the purse.
- Trump's new tax plan is taking shape as golden showers for corporations, small businesses, partnerships, as well as foreign earnings, seeing as how you free lunch, bus riding poors can't pay your taxes anyway.
- The word on the Hill is that a deal may have been reached to kill Obamacare, but no one wants to come out and say it just yet.
- The U.N. sent an angry letter to Trump about repealing Obamacare just so he's aware that he might be violating global laws governing human rights. Not a problem! We gave up on "international law" long ago!
- What's poor Paul Ryan going to cry about now that Trump has stolen tax reform out from under him?
- Ryan Zinke will get on his high horse and review whether we need so many national monuments as Trump tries to get rid of federal land.
- There are still 470 positions in the federal government that require Trump's nomination and a Senate confirmation. He's only appointed 23.
- Rodd Rosenstein is your new deputy attorney general at the DOJ who will probably not look for those pee hooker tapes, only without any conflicts of interest lik Jeff Sessions would have if he weren't looking for them.
- EPA Administrator Scott Pruitt convinced a bunch of coal lobbyists to pressure Trump to pull out of the Paris Climate Accords. Just think about that for a second.
- Ivanka Trump went to Germany and tried to be an uber feminist but all the Not Americans said mean things to her when she tried to defended her dad's puss grabbing.
- Of course, the Not Americans could have been booing Ivanka Trump for screwing the foreign workers who make her overpriced tacky crap out of an honest wage.
- MRA crybaby and conspiracy junkie Mike Cernovich is being issued White House press credentials; we assume it's so he try to find the secret door to the underground sex dungeon that spans the whole of Washington.
- Anne Coulter will descend from Castle Greyskull to address her five or six minions at U.C. Berkeley (and sell some books), and local officials are bracing for riots.
- Julian Assange is begging Donald Trump to take him back, and to dump his new boyfriends in the Justice Department and the CIA.
- And here's your late night wrap-up! Trevor Noah talked with Fake Trump; Colbert took a yogurt bath; and Seth Meyers talked with Caitlyn Jenner.
- And here's your morning Nice Time! MOAR FIONA!
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