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Wasn't last week THE BEST? A mere 1/12 of the way through this fucking nightmare, and we're all turning into the walking dead. All the things that just can't happen are happening! Yes, our CEO in Chief fired the head of the FBI because he wouldn't kill the Russia investigation like a loyal henchman. And then he admitted it on national television!!!! Everything that we thought, "No one would ever do that!", well...you can just calendar all that crazy shit for Tuesday.

So, safe bet that Donald Trump is going to break the FBI this week by turning it into a partisan arm that protects him while strangling his political enemies. Trumpland has promised to move fast on replacing James Comey, and four of their twelve short-listed candidates are Republican politicians.

It is impossible to overstate how HOLY SHIT!!! HAIR ON FIRE!!! crazy this is. The FBI doesn't work for the Red Team or the Blue Team. In a banana republic, police agencies represent politicians or specific political parties. In theory, we are a "democracy" with an "independent justice system." James Comey was never supposed to be "loyal" to the president.

Ask yourself what Republicans would have done if Obama had proposed to replace Comey with Nancy Pelosi or Harry Reid? They'd have burned down the White House! But the media is busy examining the CVs of Senate Majority Whip John Cornyn and House Benghazi Maniac Trey Gowdy like it's normal.

Substitute Martin O'Malley for Kelly Ayotte, and imagine the Republican shitstorm. Kelly Ayotte was charged with ramming Neil Gorsuch's SCOTUS nomination through the Senate. How is she supposed to lead an FBI with so many pending issues before the Court?

FFS, Mike Rogers worked on Donald Trump's campaign!

No, Mike Rogers! Sometimes the "norms" exist to stop us turning into a third-world shithole autocracy. We do not need a political hack running our domestic intelligence service. As Politico reports, that is simply not how it works.

Comey was a career federal prosecutor, former U.S. attorney and one-time No. 2 in the Justice Department.

The man he replaced, Robert Mueller, had precisely the same résumé—a career federal prosecutor, former U.S. attorney and one-time No. 2 in the Justice Department.

In contrast, Mike Rogers is a former Congressman with a melodramatic cable show about the intelligence services.

But please, tell us more about how Comey had to go because he was such a "showboat."

Today Nikki Haley went on ABC and insisted that employees of the executive branch serve at the pleasure of the president.

No. Just, NO. First of all, Haley fudges the distinction between political and non-political appointees. While the president has appointment power over his cabinet, he cannot hire and fire the men and women who make up the federal bureaucracy. Viciously attacking the professionals who have dedicated their careers to working in the federal government as "part of the deep state" is reprehensible. It's also really fucking stupid. Or, as Chuck Schumer put it--

Let me tell you, you take on the intelligence community, they have six ways from Sunday at getting back at you.

So even for a practical, supposedly hard-nosed businessman, he’s being really dumb to do this.

Moreover, Trump must get confirmation from the Senate for those high-level executive branch appointments. Because he is not the goddamn CEO of America!

And most importantly, it is NOT NORMAL for presidents to fire the head of the FBI. Cabinet secretaries are replaced with every new administration. Incoming presidents are entitled to appoint new ambassadors and US Attorneys. But FBI Directors serve a ten-year, non-renewable term precisely because they are not supposed to be political appointees. Republicans are telling a bald-faced lie when they pretend that it's all business as usual, nothing to see here when Trump fires Comey. FBI Director Louis Freeh went to the White House to get a blood sample from Bill Clinton to compare with the semen stain on Monica Lewinsky's infamous blue dress. AND STILL, Clinton didn't fire Louis Freeh!

Donald Trump told Jeanine Pirro that he was surprised at the Democratic outcry over firing James Comey. No one on the left loves Comey! We're just shit-scared that the Despotic Loon in Chief is going to turn the FBI into the Stasi! Can you blame us?

[ Politico / Lawfare / Lawfare, again / Just Security ]

Happy Mother's Day! Wonkette loves you, bubbelah! Click here if you love us back.

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Ann Coulter is not impressed with Donald Trump's presumptuous plan to stop ripping babies away from their mothers and sending them to infant prison. For quite a while, Ann has been obsessively lamenting the very idea that American people even have children to "fill their lives with joy," but now (lol, "now") Ann has shifted her rage to immigrant people. Every time you watch her waving her alien-length arms around in a ritualistic frenzy over how shitty liberals are, just remember that we have already seen the emptiness of her soul laid bare. Remember that time she wanted to eat your baby because you got a tax credit?

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Screenshot- Right Wing watch via Fox News
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It's just another Wednesday in an America that snatched kids from their parents and locked them up in old Walmarts. Trump just signed an unneeded executive order ending his heinous child separation policy, but his "the bad guy mobster in a mobster movie" tactics might've had some permanent damage. What remains of the shriveled-up soul of the grand old poor-screwing Republican party has finally had enough.

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