When we got our first snippet of Axios's big interview with Donald Trump, it confirmed our suspicions that even though Trump has talked to his Russian daddy Vladdy EIGHT TIMES since February, he hasn't bothered to say anything about how Putin has most likely been paying Taliban fighters to murder American troops in Afghanistan. Just didn't come up. Not on his mind. He thinks it's fake news, even though it's been in his briefings multiple times.

The president of the United States is an unhinged bastard who is actively working against America.

And now the full interview is out, and surprise, the president of the United States is an unhinged bastard who is actively working against America. This is 37 minutes of the most deranged shit we have ever seen from Trump, and credit goes to Axios's Jonathan Swan for not putting up with it.

Want to see Trump pore confusedly over elementary-school-level charts about the coronavirus, while bragging about how well he's handled the virus that's killed more than 150,000 Americans? Want to see Trump, when Swan responds with incredulity that 1,000 Americans are dying per day, say "It is what it is," and then continue bragging?

Want to see Trump completely unable to come up with anything to say about John Lewis, besides that Lewis didn't go to his inauguration, and Trump has done more for Black people than anybody except maybe Abraham Lincoln? Because of how that is the only thing Trump knows about John Lewis, and that is the only rehearsed line he has about Black people?

Want to see him tell accused child sex trafficker Ghislaine Maxwell to have a great summer again?

All of that is here, in this Axios interview. And so much more!

United States Better At Coronavirus Than Whole World, According To These Charts My Grandkids Made, Maybe!

Here is the clip you must start with:

"We can look at some of these charts," said Trump about his pretty coronavirus charts. "I'd love to," said Swan, who was like are you fucking kidding me, but with a British AUSTRALIAN! (our bad!) accent. "We're gonna look," Trump confirmed. "Let's look," Swan agreed again.

At which point Trump, with confusion all over his face, showed Swan a chart showing that "Right here, the United States is lowest in numerous categories, we're lower than the world!" Swan replied, "Lower than the world? What does that ... "

And Swan made this face, which he made approximately a thousand times during the 37-minute interview:

SWAN: Oh, you're doing death as a proportion of cases. I'm talking about death as a proportion of population. That's where the US is really bad.

TRUMP: Wuh, uh, wuh ...

SWAN: Much worse than South Korea, Germany, etc.

TRUMP: You can't do that!

He can't? It is not allowed to look at the death rate in proportion to the US population? HENNNGH?

We are all Jonathan Swan's face responding to this whole fucking thing.

Trump kept shuffling his papers and showing off his charts that looked like they were prepared for grandpa by Junior's children, or maybe Eric with some fingerpaints, where they picked out what colors they think grandpa would like (not black). When Swan brought up that only 300 people have died in South Korea, Trump protested, "You don't know that!"

And Swan made the face again, because was Trump really saying South Korea is lying about its numbers? Fuck off.

Here is one of Trump's very pretty charts:

Trump offered more of his stupid theories on how we only have so many cases because we do so many tests, and Swan responded that any way you look at it, 60,000 Americans are hospitalized, and death rates are going up. Trump said NO, NUH UH, FAKE NEWS, and said Jonathan Swan is reporting the fake news incorrectly.

Besides, Trump protested, the "manuals" say you shouldn't do so much testing! What manuals? THE MANUALS, JONATHAN.

TRUMP: You know, there are those that say you can test too much. You do know that.

SWAN: Who says that?

Oh, just read the manuals. Read the books.

SWAN: Manuals? What manuals?

TRUMP: Read the books. Read the books.

SWAN: What books?


Just watch it. It's bugfuck. He literally lives in his own self-created fantasy world where he's doing a good job. And all those 1,000 people dying per day? "It is what it is."

TRUMP: I think it's under control. I'll tell you what.

SWAN: How? A thousand Americans are dying a day!

TRUMP: They are dying! That's true! It is what it is. But that doesn't mean we aren't doing everything we can!

Yes, it does, asshole!

Some reality, borrowed from Slate:

The U.S. is approaching 5 million confirmed cases; more than 150,000 people have died. Last week, the country averaged more than 60,000 new cases each day. By comparison, in Italy, an early hotspot of the virus, on Monday there were 159 new coronavirus cases reported.

Oh well Italy probably just doesn't test anybody, which is why nobody has coronavirus there anymore.


Trump Doesn't Know Who John Lewis Is, Just Knows He Didn't Come To Trump's Inauguration

Trump has zero fucking clue what Jonathan Swan is talking about in this clip, but he's pretty sure just the same that this is a conversation about him, and not John Lewis:

AXIOS on HBO: President Donald Trump on John Lewis (Promo) | HBO www.youtube.com

TRUMP: I don't know. I really don't know. I don't know. I don't know John Lewis. He chose not to come to my inauguration. He chose, uh, I never met John Lewis, actually, I don't believe.

SWAN: Do you find him impressive?

TRUMP: Uhhhhhhhh ... I can't say one way or the other, I find a lot of people impressive, I find a lot many people not impressive, but ...

SWAN: Do you find his story impressive?

TRUMP: He didn't come to my inauguration. He didn't come to my State of the Union speeches. And that's OK, that's his right. And, again, nobody has done more for black Americans than I have. He should've come. I think he made a big mistake.

Swan, exasperated, tried to get Dipshit to answer the question by "taking your relationship of out it," which was so revealing, because there is no scenario where Donald Trump can talk about any subject without putting himself at the center of it. It's never not astounding just how broken and irredeemable Trump is.

Trump finally said Lewis did a lot for civil rights, but added that many others did a lot for civil rights, also, too. He also said he'd be fine with renaming the Edmund Pettus Bridge in Selma after Lewis, though. Probably because he doesn't own a hotel next to it and therefore has no idea what the hell it is.

Now compare that to Barack Obama speaking at Lewis's funeral. Or don't, because it's too depressing.


Elsewhere in the interview, Trump lied some more and cast doubts on the legitimacy of his impending loss, blaming it on mail-in-voting. This interview was taped before Trump got on Twitter and whined about how the election should be delayed, in order to extend his illegitimate reign. He's going to be singing this song until he's wheeled out of the White House screaming and crying, so just get ready.

Oh yeah, and he just really has some more best wishes for accused child sex trafficker Ghislaine Maxwell, to add to his warmest regards from a couple weeks ago:

SWAN: Ghislaine Maxwell has been arrested on allegations of child sex trafficking. Why would you wish her well?

TRUMP: Well first of all, I don't know that. [...] Her friend, or boyfriend, was either killed or committed suicide in jail. She's now in jail. Yeah, I wish her well. I'd wish you well. I'd wish a lot of people well. Good luck! Let them prove somebody was guilty!

So that was some weird shit.

Here is the full interview if you want to watch it because you hate your life and have nothing better to do:

AXIOS on HBO: President Trump Exclusive Interview (Full Episode) | HBO www.youtube.com

Deranged. Absolutely deranged.

We are 91 days from the election. What are you doing today to make sure we dropkick that motherfucker out the door, with votes?

Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT HERE, DO IT RIGHT HERE!

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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