Trump's Obsession With Proving His Dick Is Even Half As Big As Obama's Is Getting KINDA Ridiculous
Trump in the Oval Office we mean his bedroom eating snacks
Philip Rucker and Ashley Parker have a new story in the Washington Post that's not exactly new. Breaking news! The entire Trump presidency is, at heart, based on seething contempt/white-loser weak-dick resentment/jealousy of Barack Obama, and Donald Trump is obsessed not only with undoing everything Obama did, but also with proving -- to others, but mostly to his own wounded, undeserving self -- he is bigger than Obama.
Rucker and Parker write about how Trump is trying to convince everyone he's been "tougher on Russia than Obama," because "just look at the facts." Uh huh, OK, sure. Was the Obama administration a little slow on the uptake when it came to addressing in real time the Russian interference in the 2016 election? Certainly. They admit that. Do we wish they had said fuck it and shouted from the mountaintops that Russia was trying to install Trump in office? We sure as shit do. Do we wish Obama had told Mitch McConnell to fuck himself with his turtle mother's shell when McConnell refused to stand with him in a bipartisan way to defend our democracy before the election? Hell yes.
But no, Trump has not been "tougher" than Obama on Russia. Trump is the guy who gives Vladimir Putin a tongue bath every time he talks about him, and probably in private Skype Sessions too; who jizzes code word level intelligence from our Israeli allies all over Russian diplomats in the Oval Office; and who still refuses to implement the Russian sanctions Congress passed 517 to 5, because he's scared to make his real dad Putin angry. For Trump to suggest that he's "tougher" than Obama on Russia (or in any other way) is wondrously pathetic. Of course, weak racist near-senile old white men like Trump are pretty threatened by black guys who are smarter and prettier and have bigger hands than they have. Trump's low self esteem is pretty funny, isn't it?
On Russia and a host of other issues, aides and advisers say, Trump’s near-compulsion with measuring himself against Obama reflects an innate need to be judged superior to his peers and to have a singular opponent to target.
“If you watch Trump, he understands that there are two ways to be really tall, and one is to have your opponent be really short,” said Newt Gingrich, former House speaker and a Trump ally. “He spends a fair amount of his time shrinking his opponents.”
In other words, you can actually HAVE the goods like Obama, or you can be a Sadsy McWeakFuck like Trump who only feels big when he belittles others. Thanks, Newt Gingrich for telling us the textbook definition of "small-dicked bully."
There's one part of the WaPo article, though, that's just bizarre, when it comes to Lies Trump Tells About Obama. (Yes, more bizarre than his lie that Obama never called families of soldiers killed in action.) Trump is apparently obsessed with saying Barack Obama never even used the Oval Office, whereas Trump, who definitely works a whole lot for at least 2.5 hours per day, uses it constantly, except for when he is golfing or watching TV or having Nakey Executive Time. But all the other times!
Upon becoming president, Trump started to show off the trappings of his job, taking visitors into the Roosevelt Room and the Cabinet Room. He quickly alighted upon a favorite last stop, ushering guests into the Oval Office.
“Obama never used the Oval, but Trump is different,” the president would say, referring to himself in the third person as he often does, according to people who have witnessed the tours.
As his guests marveled at the space, Trump would press them, asking if Obama had ever shown them the West Wing’s inner sanctum.
When he was invariably told no, Trump appeared to beam with pride.
What a sad fucking weirdo.
As Jonathan Chait points out, there are hundreds of pictures of Barack Obama working in the Oval Office, and unlike pictures of Trump working in the Oval, there is usually work on the Resolute Desk, because he was actually working there. (Also Obama had pictures of his family in his Oval Office, because he's not a trashbag like Trump.)
Here are a bunch of pictures of Obama in the Oval. Of course, in many of them he's GOOFING OFF, because unlike TRUMP THE PATRIOT, Obama had NO RESPECT and used the Oval as his personal NOBUMBER PLAYPEN:
Obviously he is just playing CHARADES in this one:
And here he is letting a guy TOSS THE FRUIT in the Oval Office, like a common person who likes FRUIT TOSSERS:
In this picture, Obama is talking to people who are not white in the Oval Office, ew yuck, Donald Trump does not like that one bit:
Nice look on your O-FACE, Barry Soetero Kenyobamanesiastan!
Here's a picture of OBAMBI talking on the phone with Vladimir Putin. It looks different from pictures of Trump talking to Putin because when Trump talks to Putin, his pants are around his ankles. Allegedly.
Here's one where Obama is being briefed about the Newtown school shootings, like an actual president who pays attention to briefings:
In this picture, Obama is obviously TRYING TO SEDUCE A MALE SNOWMAN in the Oval Office:
Oh great. Oh great. A baby:
Here's Bamz on Thanksgiving morning phone-chatting with US servicemembers, despite how Trump lies and says Obama never talked to military people:
And finally, here is Bamz in the Oval with US Olympian McKayla Maroney, which is great because remember that time we had a president every single person on the US Olympic Team felt honored to meet?
Sorry, Donald. You will never be the man Barack Obama is, or the president he was.
So go fuck yourself.
Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT HERE.