Relax, terrorists!

The TSA won't be searching the anuses and vaginas of air travelers just yet -- TSA chief John Pistole is saving that for ... a national Christmas present? Maybe for the first day of Ramadan?

Remember, the porno-scanner machines may give you cancer and let some high-school dropout slob save a few jpgs of your grandma naked, but it cannot see what's hidden in her rectum! This is super nice of the TSA to a) give everyone cancer and see them naked and/or dry hump everyone while b) still making it safe and easy for Johnny Taliban to put a stick of C4 up his butt and taking down a jetliner for Thanksgiving. USA USA USA! [Christian Science Monitor]