Tucker Carlson Furious Black Lives Matter More Popular Than [READS LIST OF WHITE PEOPLE]

Haha, Tucker Carlson is LOSING IT.

There is a new poll from Rasmussen, which is a garbage polling outfit that favors Donald Trump and Republicans, and it shows that Black Lives Matter is way more popular than Donald Trump. That's right, even in Rasmussen, people like Black Lives Matter way more than they like The Illiterate Fascist Dumb-Dumb! Even more than a week ago!

After the week Tucker Carlson had last week, he did not need to start his week this week with this kind of news:

CARLSON: Here's some bracing news we never expected to report: Black Lives Matter is now more popular than the President of the United States. And not slightly more popular than the President; much more popular.

Bracing news! Brace yourself for bracing news! And it is that 62 percent of people like Black Lives Matter, and only 43 percent of people like Trump! (According to Rasmussen! The real gap is probably way bigger!)

Did you brace yourself? Did you clench your butthole when you read that news, like it looks like Tucker's face is doing up there?

Lest you think Tucker is just having a conniption because people love Black Lives Matter more than they love Trump, he's really upset that Black Lives Matter is more popular than basically everything. Black people! And their lives! Mattering! Tucker Carlson is SORE offended by this!

Tucker bemoans that Rasmussen finds Black Lives Matter is more popular than Joe Biden and Jesus and Congress and the Pope and everything else too! Do you know how many white people Black Lives Matter is more popular than? Tucker does! He is making a list of them, probably!

"The numbers are astounding!" Tucker said, astounded.

But it's not just the numbers! It's also this picture of people, lots of people, coming out to support Black Lives Matter!

"That is an ocean of people," Tucker said, still astounded. "Ask yourself the last time you saw a candidate for office who was able to draw a crowd like that."

Dunno, Tuckles the Clown, but we are pretty sure it was this guy:

Oh my god did we just post the entire 54-minute Obama 2008 nomination acceptance speech, including the dramatic entrance with the Coldplay song and everybody crying? Yes, but only because we wanted to answer Tucker's question completely.

So yeah, Tuckles was upset. He ended that clip above by saying something about how everybody is "lining up to bow before Black Lives Matter," because of how Black Lives Matter is now our dictator or something, we don't goddamn know.

Elsewhere on his show, he reported that the police killing of Rayshard Brooks in Atlanta was totally justified. "Tragic," he said, but otherwise fine.

Carlson continues to hemorrhage advertisers, after last week igniting a firestorm by saying that Black Lives Matter is really not even about Black people's lives. He, of course, thinks that if they cared about Black people's lives, they would ban abortion, because he is an idiot who buys into the "abortion is Black genocide" myth. This allows him to feign concern for Black people while simultaneously running a show that could change its name to Krazy Klan Klearinghouse with hardly anyone batting an eye besides to say, "Well, if the hood fits."

We don't know if he lost any advertisers after he lost his shit at the Muppet named Elmo. Or when he heard there were bare boobies on the internet and he got scared.

The bad news is that Fox News is probablynot losing much overall ad revenue as a result of My Pillow being basically the only company willing to associate itself with such a loser racist. Also, Tucker is, as of today, the "most-watched host in all of cable news." He's beating Hannity and Ingraham and everybody else. We'd argue he's simply cornered the market of rightwing racists, and that there's little else to compete with in his time slot, whereas good and decent people watch all different shows on TV, but the bottom line is the bottom line.

So that's fucked.

Oh well, at least he has to try to fall asleep at night trembling with the knowledge that Americans think Black Lives Matter more than Donald Trump matters. That's something, we guess.


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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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