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Tucker Carlson Gets Blogger Fired, Rents "Crash"

Fun Fact: If you blog about how Tucker Carlson opened an account at the video store you work at, he will get you fired.


As Wonkette readers know, Tucker Carlson has been Googling himself a lot recently. And, unsurprisingly, he's not happy with most of the results. We regret that we've received only terse, incomprehensible emails, and haven't had awesome face-to-face exchanges with him like this:

Tucker: If you keep this shit up, I will fucking destroy you.
The Genius (Me): Whoah, perhaps you would like to take this outside where you can continue threatening me without disturbing the other customers.
Tucker: *Looks out the window, then back at me* I am not threatening you.
The Genius: You just said you would fucking destroy me.
Tucker: No, I didn't.



Did this actually happen? The fired blogger mentions that Tucker looks much more "tan" (orange) in real life than on TV, which we noted too. And a guy who just learned to Google himself last month probably hasn't signed up for Netflix yet. So yes, it's probably all true. And we're shocked -- shocked! -- that a cable tv pundit is kind of a dick.

His Bowtie Knows Where You Sleep... err... Work [Freelance Genius]

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Poor People Are Mad As Hell, And They're Not Going to Take It Anymore.

The Poor People's Campaign marched on Washington, and we were there!

Culture Wars
by Dominic Gwinn

Yesterday the new Poor People's Campaign, led by Rev. William Barber and Rev. Dr. Liz Theoharis, concluded 40 days of protest and civil disobedience with a rally on the National Mall. Building off of Rev. Martin Luther King Jr's original Poor People's Campaign 50 years ago, the new campaign is aimed at uniting labor leaders with activists to build a coalition of all marginalized people

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The police have clearly failed to stop the scourge of black kids selling water to thirsty people, so your average law-abiding, permit-respecting white lady has no choice but to take matters into her own (did we mention they were white?) hands. You might call her a busybody gone power mad or a simple tool of racist micoaggression, but we just call her "Permit Patty."

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