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Tucker Carlson Gets Blogger Fired, Rents "Crash"

Fun Fact: If you blog about how Tucker Carlson opened an account at the video store you work at, he will get you fired.


As Wonkette readers know, Tucker Carlson has been Googling himself a lot recently. And, unsurprisingly, he's not happy with most of the results. We regret that we've received only terse, incomprehensible emails, and haven't had awesome face-to-face exchanges with him like this:

Tucker: If you keep this shit up, I will fucking destroy you.
The Genius (Me): Whoah, perhaps you would like to take this outside where you can continue threatening me without disturbing the other customers.
Tucker: *Looks out the window, then back at me* I am not threatening you.
The Genius: You just said you would fucking destroy me.
Tucker: No, I didn't.



Did this actually happen? The fired blogger mentions that Tucker looks much more "tan" (orange) in real life than on TV, which we noted too. And a guy who just learned to Google himself last month probably hasn't signed up for Netflix yet. So yes, it's probably all true. And we're shocked -- shocked! -- that a cable tv pundit is kind of a dick.

His Bowtie Knows Where You Sleep... err... Work [Freelance Genius]

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Deleted Comments: We Gave God The Banhammer

The Commentczar's In Town

Yr Wonkette has been getting quite a few visits from trolls lately, although most of the infestations have been incredibly tiresome and not at all worth discussing here. We're talking, like, not even as good as ol' Turgid Love Muscle Guy. Come to think of it, we haven't seen him in a while; hope he's OK. At least health-wise.

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In 2006, Bob Casey Jr., then the Pennsylvania state treasurer, defeated Rick Santorum and took his seat in the US Senate; presumably only after having it steam cleaned. Not that Casey wanted anything much to do with Dan Savage, the columnist who had helpfully made the alternative definition of "Santorum" one of the best demonstrations of the power of trolling for the prior three years. But in '06, Casey's campaign actually declined a donation from Savage; Casey's finance director thanked him, but suggested maybe Savage could give the money to a group working against Santorum so Casey wouldn't get flak for taking the donation. That was back when Dems were happy to talk about civil unions but frightened of gay marriage, and Casey just plain wussed out on the chance to bring a "weeks-long debate about feces, lube, and assfucking" to the Senate race, as then-Wonket Dave Weigel put it. But Bob Casey has come rather a long way since then, and he now supports marriage equality. He might still be a bit shy about a full-on embrace of buttsechs talk, however.

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