Tucker Carlson Thwarted Once Again By Google Machine, Dictionaries

Back in February, Tucker Carlson concluded that "QAnon" did not exist and was purely an invention of the liberal media, because he and his crack staff were unable to find "the QAnon website." Now they've hit another roadblock — because Joe Biden keeps talking about something called "equity" and Tucker is pretty sure that's not actually a thing. And if it is a thing, it is the real racism.

On his show Wednesday night, Carlson laid into Joe Biden for inventing this strange word out of thin air and then expecting everyone to just know what it means, as if it's just been around since the 14th century or something. The target of his criticism in the segment below was the fact that, back in February, the Justice Department decided to no longer pursue a lawsuit against Yale University for supposedly discriminating against white and Asian students in favor of Black students. How? Because the university has a policy of not admitting more than a percentage point less than the percentage of Black students in the previous year's class.

Right now, 7.7 percent of students at Yale are Black, 13 percent are Latinx, 19 percent are Asian, and 52 percent are white.

11 percent are legacies.

Transcript via Media Matters:

So, what is "equity?" Joe Biden never tells us, never even hints. His order proclaims that America will be getting, quote, "an ambitious, whole of government equity agenda." So, whatever it is, "equity" is "ambitious," and it will be everywhere, but we're not allowed to know what it is. That's odd.

For three months, we've been trying to guess — what is this "equity" that is now our country's main reason for existing? We know it's not the same as equality, or even closely related.

In the name of equity, for example, the Biden administration supports open discrimination against Asian college applicants. They're Asian, therefore, they can't get into school. It's that simple.

We used to call that kind of behavior racism, we had laws against it. Now we call it "equity" and we have laws demanding it. It turns out that racism and equity are pretty much the same thing. Who knew?

No one is saying that Asian kids can't get into school. That is not a thing. They're just saying "Black kids can go to school also." And as long as they are giving admittance preferences to legacy students, and to those who compete in sports like sailing, fencing, squash, skiing, golf, and other relatively white hobbies and extracurricular activities you can't really do if you are poor, then it's in the school's best interest to balance things out in other ways. It would be one thing if Black and Latinx students were the only ones being admitted to schools based on a holistic admissions process and everyone else was being admitted explicitly based on test scores and grades, but that is not the case.

Because schools are funded by property taxes, public schools are still pretty separate and unequal. Eighty-six percent of underfunded schools are majority Black, and only eight percent of students in well-funded schools are Black. That makes a difference, especially when AP classes and extracurricular activities are things that admissions counselors look at. So yes, in order to have some amount of diversity for the student body as a whole, in order to give opportunities to those whose applications may only be not quite as impressive because they did not go to a school that offered many opportunities, giving kids one point in their plus column for being a member of an underrepresented race or ethnicity is the right thing to do.

Tucker Swanson McNear Carlson likely assumes that he got his all on his own, but he's the heir to a TV dinner fortune who went to St. George's Boarding School in Middletown, Rhode Island (which is right by Newport, just to give you an idea of its fanciness). Now, he may have gotten into Trinity College had he been born in other circumstances, but we will never know, will we?

Although, given that he can't figure out what the word "equity" means or bother to look it up in a dictionary, I think we may have some idea.

Equity is not really that hard to understand. It just means fair treatment and justice. It can even be explained in entirely non-political terms! For instance, I have dark brown hair. Say I had a blonde friend and we wanted to have matching pink hair. We could use the exact same hair dye, but in her hair it would come out bright and in mine it wouldn't come out at all. In order to get the same color, I'd have to have my hair bleached. Giving us both the same hair dye is equality, but bleaching my hair first and then dying it would be "equity." Because sometimes people, through absolutely no fault or deficiency of their own, need more to achieve the same result and sometimes other people, for reasons entirely unrelated to their own character, talent or hard work, need less. Duh.

But Tucker Carlson seems to have a really hard time understanding this.

Transcript via Media Matters:

You do not want to live in a completely racialized country — where a person's genetics are the most important thing about them, where you are reduced to your DNA, dehumanized. But that's exactly the society they're creating.
And what's the result of what they're doing? Every action provokes a reaction. That's the most basic principle in physics. When you attack people for qualities they can't control, over time, you will make them radical. That is guaranteed.

You've got to wonder, if it's ever occurred to the morons pushing this "equity" garbage that everyone on earth has an identity. If you make identity politics mandatory — and they have — how long until you get white identity politics?

Ever consider that, you reckless fools?

First of all, Tucker Carlson, please stop yelling at us. Second, "how long" until we get white identity politics? We have white identity politics now! They are on full display every weeknight on a little show called "Tucker Carlson Tonight."

But of course Tucker Carlson doesn't want to have an "identity." He wants to be neutral. Because he wants to believe that if he were not white, if he had not been born into money, if he had not had a privileged education, that he would have turned out to be the same asshole he is today. He wants to believe all of these factors were neutral and that he had no privilege, and in order for that to be true, factors in the lives of other people also have to be neutral.

How long before there is no national identity at all in this country? Only warring tribes fighting each other for the spoils? Does anyone want to raise children in a society like that? Only the racists want that. But that's exactly where they're pushing us, and at high speed.

Tucker Carlson doesn't have to worry about "warring for the spoils" because he was born with the spoils. What he wants is not for everyone to have spoils, but for others to accept their lack of spoils graciously, instead of inconveniencing those born with spoils by pointing out that they might be a little, well, spoiled.

[Media Matters]

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Robyn Pennacchia

Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse


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