Tucker Carlson Revives Hilarious 'Disarm The Secret Service' Gag From 2013
On Fox & Friends Saturday, Newstwerp Tucker Carlson had some Deeply Apolitical Thoughts on President Obama's shocking politicizing of last week's massacre in Charleston, reviving a completely original NRA talking point from 2013: If Obama hates guns so much and wants to take everyone's guns away because guns are evil, then why doesn't he have his Secret Service detail go without guns, huh? HUH? This was generally regarded on the right as the smartest idea ever heard since the last time some knucklehead brought it up.
Carlson made what might have been a very impressive point, were he an actual piece of dining room furniture suddenly blessed with the gift of speech:
The president has said a number of times guns are the problem, guns cause violence. There’s nobody in the world surrounded by more armed people than President Obama himself. I notice he’s not suggesting that the people around him disarm. He wants to remain protected, but the rest of us have to go without means of self-protection.
This is so true, because it is precisely what Barack Obama has called for: the total confiscation of all civilian-owned firearms (we know this is true because that talking credenza on Fox News said it).
Token liberal punching-bag Jehmu Greene seemed to think that Fox News had standards or something, replying:
To say that the protection of the President of the United States is hypocritical because he has people with guns around him, Tucker, that is beneath this discussion ... You are trying to compared Secret Service, armed people, to someone who walks into a church and kills nine people. And to say the president doesn’t have a right to talk about gun control because people with him have guns?
She almost seems to think that the president of the United States somehow has different security needs than the average person, which just goes to show how far out of touch liberals are with reality. Still, Carlson had himself one excellent strawman, and damned if he was going to let go of it:
What we're saying is, the president’s position is that guns cause violence, guns are inherently bad and dangerous. The rest of us need to disarm and not protect ourselves. And he’s exempt from that?
Greene gamely tried to point out that Obama had not actually said that "guns are inherently bad," but Carlson was through with her.
Still, the comparison isn't altogether unsalvageable, as long as you toss out the notion that Obama wants to take everyone's guns away (probably under the cover of Jade Helm 15). We'd note that members of the presidential security detail all undergo rigorous criminal background checks, that they receive extensive training, and that they have to regularly be recertified in proficiency with their weapons. Also, if they're unstable or determined to be a security risk, they have to turn in the gun and badge (at least in theory, although lately the Secret Service has been trying awfully hard to rival Comcast for dubious reliability). Those all seem like good ideas that might be fruitfully applied to our Well-Regulated Militia, so hey, Tucker, thanks for the analogy. You just had it a little backwards, as usual.
Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.