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Tucker Carlson Wishes Women Would Stop Destroying America By Having Jobs

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Women! We're always going on and on about how we'd like to get equal pay for equal work, how we want to be successful in our respective careers, how we want to be taken seriously. But do we ever consider how this might impact the menfolk? No, we do not, because that would be stupid.

But you know who has considered this? Tucker Carlson. In a recent segment on his show titled "MEN IN AMERICA," Carlson embraced his inner internet Men's Rights Activist and explained how now everyone is a drug addict or in jails because women not only had to go and have jobs, but have jobs that paid them money. More money, sometimes, than men were paid at their jobs. Can you imagine!


Transcript via Media Matters:

Male wages declined. Manufacturing, a male-dominated industry all but disappeared over the course of a generation. All that remained in many places were the schools and the hospitals, and both of them are traditional employers of women.

In many areas, women suddenly made more than men.

Now, before you applaud that as a victory for feminism, consider some of the effects.

Study after study has shown that when men make less than women, women generally don't want to marry them. Maybe they should want to marry them, but they don't. Over big populations this causes a drop in marriage, a spike in out-of-wedlock births and all the familiar disasters that inevitably follow.

More drug and alcohol abuse, higher incarceration rates, fewer families formed in the next generation. This is not speculation, it's not propaganda from the evangelicals. It's social science. We know it's true. Rich people know it best of all, that's why they get married before they have kids. That model works.

He was this close to actually saying "hypergamy." Maybe next time!

I have some questions!

First of all, why are these men unable to work in schools or hospitals? Is it that their penises will fall off?

Second: What is it you think should be done about this, Tucker? Should these women ask for a pay cut? Should hospitals and schools pay female employees less, so that they'll have to get married in order to be able to support a child? What?

The fact is, women know that getting married for economic reasons, because they need a man to support them, did not work out very well for us in the past. We do not want to go back to that, which is why we want things like equal pay. If we choose to get married, we will get married because we are in love with someone, not because we need cash. If men want to get married, they will have to do more than just have a job. They will have to be interesting and kind and funny and definitely not the kind of person who listens to Tucker Carlson.

I have often made more money than the men I date (not because I am wealthy but because they are drummers), and it's only ever been a problem when the guy makes it into a problem. However, if I were on a date and the guy sitting across from me started talking about white genocide and how it is bad for America if I make more money than him, I would run the hell away, change my phone number and perhaps consider changing my identity for fear he would ever call me again.

It is a science fact that listening to Tucker Carlson about anything whatsoever is known to make men completely unfuckable -- which, in turn, also leads to women not wanting to marry them. Just look at all those articles about how Trump supporters are sad over not being able to get dates because everyone thinks they're gross! It's social science. We know it's true. So perhaps it is Tucker Carlson who is to blame for all the drug abuse and mass incarceration, rather than women just wanting to have jobs they can survive on.

Maybe the problem is not women making more money than men, maybe the problem is too many men being completely repulsive -- perhaps as a direct result of listening to Tucker Carlson. Seriously, the man is a walking prophylactic. If Tucker Carlson really wants to make women more likely to get hitched, he should take himself off the air immediately and demand he be replaced with someone who doesn't make my lady parts want to shrivel up and die.

[Media Matters]

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Robyn Pennacchia

Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Previously, she was a Senior Staff Writer at Death & Taxes, and Assistant Editor at The Frisky (RIP). Currently, she writes for Wonkette, Friendly Atheist, Quartz and other sites. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse

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