Tucker Finds Non-White Person To Stick Up For. Maaaaybe.

Stop us if you've heard this one before.

Tucker Carlson — who became the Little Lord Fauntleroy heir of a frozen dinner family fortune when his father remarried, after Tucker's original mother surveyed the situation when Tucker was six and peaced right on out of there — is concerned about the hired help. Not his own, mind you. He's worried about the nanny CNN's Brian Stelter apparently just had to fire, because she refused to get vaccinated after Stelter and his wife gave her six months of chances.

Tucker presented this breaking news as EXCLUSIVE AUDIO YOU'LL HEAR NOWHERE ELSE. It is tape of Stelter explaining to some people how he hated to have to let the nanny go, but hey, whatcha gonna do, she won't get vaxxed:

Referring to Stelter as "the eunuch," and with his chyron referring to Stelter as a "nasty eunuch" — even though right then Tucker was discussing the help for the fruit of Stelter's man balls, but, you know, details — Tucker said this audio would show us "what kind of person" CNN's media critic is. In the audio, Stelter explains that he and his wife had to let the nanny go because she wouldn't get what Tucker refers to as "the injection":

STELTER: Me and my wife both work full-time, we both make enough money to have a nanny during the day in New York. And our nanny refuses to get vaccinated and so we are parting ways with her. It was very very sad. We thought that after six months, after seeing the vaccines are all good and everybody's fine, we thought she'd come around.

Brian Stelter's wife, Jamie Stelter, is immunocompromised. Their children are under five. So yes, if the nanny will not get the shot, we'd fire her ass too if we were in that situation.

Tucker went on to explain what he was really upset about, though, and that's when it got weird(er):

TUCKER: The headline here is that CNN’s media critic dismissed, blithely dismissed his little non-white servant ...

Whaaaaaaat? Has Tucker met the nanny? Are they in contact? Because Brian Stelter did not say anything in there about her race. Mediaite says it's "unclear" where Tucker got anything about the nanny being "non-white." Does Tucker just assume that all people who work in rich white people's houses are non-white?

We would of course note that it was Tucker who used the phrase "his little non-white servant," which sounds like something a white supremacist would say.

Tucker whined and whined and whined some more on behalf of this person whose race he may have invented in his head. Is Brian Stelter paying this poor woman's bills, now that he's fired her for refusing to get her motherfucking shot like a goddamned child? "We really don't care what happens to our servants, do we, when they disobey," added Tucker, saying something that sounds completely on-brand for Tucker.

Note the chyrons, of course. We have no idea why Tucker feels the need to call Brian Stelter a "nasty eunuch." We can only link to some of the many hundreds of times Tucker has shown the world that he gets really weird when it comes to measuring masculinity, and that he seems to have a deep and abiding need to prove to the world that he's a real man. He gets real weird about Brian Stelter and Don Lemon too, for some reason.

Don't know why Tucker's like this, maybe something happened to him in childhood, maybe we should ask his mom, uh oh wait, where'd she go?


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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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