Tulsi Gabbard Just Hangin' With Mike Huckabee, Like Regular Democratic Candidates Do

When we are in the middle of yelling at you and the whole rest of the internet for shitting on Democratic primary candidates for literally no reason, we often jokingly (not jokingly) add, "Except Tulsi. You are always allowed to be mean to Tulsi." Because she's not really running for the Democratic nomination, is she? She might be running for president! But ... yeah, she has made it quite clear that one of these things is not like the others, one of these things just doesn't belong.

Speaking of, Gabbard sat down with her normal pal Mike Huckabee on his TV show that everybody watches, even the liberals. "Ooh, let's order pizza and watch Mike Huckabee," that's a thing Americans of all political beliefs say to each other, especially at Christmas. "Oh no, my house doesn't have Trinity Broadcasting Network, maybe we should do our lesbian boning date at YOUR yurt," said the liberal lesbian to her liberal lesbian girlfriend -- who lives in a yurt, obviously -- because even they watch the Huckabee show, on TBN. Bonus if Tulsi Gabbard is on!

Who is this for, please?

The conversation was dumb and cornball, at least the part Gabbard tweeted out as a branded video for her campaign, intended for an audience that includes ????????. They talked about how OH BOY, New Hampshire winters are colder than Hawai'i winters (Gabbard just moved to New Hampshire like a common Scott Brown), but what Tulsi Gabbard has really learned from living in New Hampshire is that everybody is more united than divided, blah blah blah blah blah blah.

Meanwhile, Huckabee just sat there and did that evil geriatric grunt-smiling thing he does. He, the guy who was literally on Hannity the other night talking about how he supports Donald Trump getting a second AND THIRD term in office, and she, the woman who swears on all that is holy that she is not about to mount a third-party bid to help ratfuck the election for RussiaTrump purposes that are still not entirely clear.

Please tell us more about how Hillary Clinton is a monster for saying that thing she said about Tulsi Gabbard.

So how did these two crazy kids end up in each other's Rolodex?

Did Gabbard and Huckabee run into each other in the Fox News green room or something? Was Gabbard getting ready for a big appearance on Tucker Carlson's White Power Hour, and they just crossed paths in the studio? Maybe frequent guests of Tucker and Hannity (she's been there too) have some sort of NextDoor-type message board where they can mingle and share their terrifying tales of that time they saw a black person, and that's where they met up.

Oh! Maybe!

Maybe it is that thing about how Mike Huckabee thinks gays are just like incesters, who literally thinks it's funny/creative to say it's Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve, and oh yeah, after the Supreme Court ruled for marriage equality, he said if that's the "law of the land," then obviously that means Dred Scott is still the law of the land, because he forgot about how the 14th Amendment overturned it. The point is that Mike Huckabee thinks gays are gross and going to hell and don't deserve equal rights.

Meanwhile, Tulsi Gabbard, though she had a public about-face on the issue and has a decent legislative record when it comes to LGBT issues, started out as a person with an anti-gay wingnut activist father she defended against "homosexual extremists" (her words), but who in a 2015 interview with Ozy magazine confirmed that her opposition to marriage equality and abortion rights hadn't changed, it was just that her time in Iraq convinced her that it's bad to force your beliefs on other people, like Muslims do. (She doesn't seem to like Muslims very much, oh look, Mike Huckabee doesn'teither.)

Or maybe it's something else.

Oh well, whatever, anybody on any part of the left who still thinks Tulsi Gabbard is on their side for some reason, bless your dang heart.


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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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