Tulsi Gabbard Says Kamala Harris Lacks Foreign Policy Chops To Kiss Assad's Ass
We can't even pretend to like Rep. Tulsi Gabbard. She's nicer to Syrian butcher Bashar al-Assad than she ever was to queer folk. Lately, the presidential candidate's been coming for Sen. Kamala Harris, who unlike Gabbard is polling in double digits. She claimed it was "underhanded" for Harris to surprise Joe Biden with his record during his nap at the last Democratic debate. Now, she's arguing that Harris isn't "qualified" to serve as commander in chief. This is where we remind everyone that the current president is Donald Trump.
Gabbard called out Harris yesterday during an interview with Clay Travis on Fox Sports News. Travis is the author of Republicans Buy Sneakers, Too, which sounds like a conservative children's book. Right-wingers dig Gabbard, so she should consider just primarying Trump and actually making herself useful.
GABBARD: Kamala Harris is not qualified to serve as commander in chief and I can say this from a personal perspective as a soldier. She's got no background or experience in foreign policy, and she lacks the temperament that is necessary for commander in chief.
We repeat: Donald Trump is the current C-i-C. The Hulk has a better temperament. And where does Gabbard get off questioning Harris's "temperament" anyway? Harris is a former prosecutor. You have to keep your shit together in court. You can't turn over tables, scream at the judge, and throw rotten tomatoes at hostile witnesses. This isn't "Boston Legal."
Harris's communications director, Lily Adams, pulled down the shade on Gabbard's tomfoolery.
Gabbard served in Iraq and is currently a major in Hawaii's National Guard. We appreciate her service because that's what you're supposed to say or everyone thinks you're a flag-burning hippie monster. However, the president is the civilian head of the military. Actual military service is not required. Only two out of the 2,000 Democratic candidates have served -- Pete Buttigieg and other Tim Ryan, Seth Moulton -- so we're not sure why Gabbard is sweating Harris. We guess it's that wacky temperament of hers. But Gabbard endorsed Bernie Sanders in 2016. Sanders is known for many things but not his understated demeanor.
GABBARD: I've seen the cost of war firsthand.
Yeah, we know. We thanked you for your service in the last paragraph.
GABBARD: I've experienced the consequences of what happens when we have presidents, as we have from both political parties in the White House, who lack experience, who lack that foreign policy understanding, who therefore fall under the influence of the foreign policy establishment, the military-industrial complex. This is what's so dangerous. This is what we've seen occurring over time.
Harris is not some gibbering idiot. Her more experienced military advisers won't distract her with shiny objects while they decide amongst themselves which random countries to invade. Former White House chief of staff John Kelly was a fancy-pants general but still utterly unable to "handle" his unhinged boss. His peak achievement was firing Omarosa. Bill Clinton and Barack Obama had limited foreign policy experience before taking office but never fucked up on the scale of Trump or George W. Bush, who even had a common Colin Powell in his Cabinet. Voters should worry less about the candidate's foreign policy resume and more about their world view. Gabbard's sucks. She's an isolationist who thinks World War II is the sole instance where US military intervention was necessary. President Gabbard would probably not have our allies' backs. She personally met with Assad and praised Trump for hanging out with another brutal dictator, Kim Jong Un. Oh, and she personally met with Trump during the transition. More of that diplomacy, we're sure.
If Harris chooses to acknowledge Gabbard's existence, she'll have her chance to roast her next Wednesday at the second set of Democratic debates. It's hilarious that we didn't have to bother checking if Gabbard is scheduled to debate on the same night as Harris. She's brown, so yes. That's how well CNN's random drawing went.
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Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He's on the board of the Portland Playhouse theater and writes for the immersive theater Cafe Nordo in Seattle. Tickets are on sale now for his latest Nordo collaboration, "Curiouser and Curiouser," an adaptation of "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" and "Through the Looking Glass." It promises to feel like an actual evening with SER (for good or for ill).