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Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.


Last night, TWO MORE WOMEN came forward to accuse Roy Moore of being a creepy pervert (no, two more since those two), with one recalling the time Moore tracked her down, pulled her out of class, and later shoved his tongue down her throat while on an uncomfortable date.

Roy Moore sent a letter threatening news outlets to stop investigating his ALLEGED history of kiddy fiddling, and the Alabama Media Group is practically begging him to follow up on that threat.

Former President Bannon standing by his man as the rest of his surrogates back way the hell away.

There's a legal fight underway to unveil the people who helped finance THE DOSSIER, and a Bush 43 judge thinks Fusion GPS should reveal its clients and contractors -- while he simultaneously presides over a libel suit from three Russian businessmen named in THE DOSSIER with ties to Alfa Bank.

Oddly enough, Glen Simpson, the head of Fusion GPS, apparently told the House Intel Committee he never paid anyone to look for the pee hooker tape.

Christopher Steele, the author THE DOSSIER, poked his head out of his hidey hole to say that stuff in THE DOSSIER is 70 to 90 percent true, stating, "Why would I invent this stuff?"

On the very last page of THE DOSSIER there's a snippet about a web company that helped facilitate the break-in into DNC servers; investigators now believe Russia used porn pirates to steal Podesta's pasta recipe.

Did Robert Mueller pull a Turkish businessman from prison to spill the beans on Mike Flynn? WELL?

Robert Mueller and his team of extraordinary investigators want to have a chat with Trump's primary fixer and aide, Hope Hicks, so she's hired an attorney with a deep background in Swamp scandals.

The soulless Trump troll Chuck C. Johnson seems to have been the little weasel who tipped off Julian Assange about an anti-Trump website and PAC, making him a prime suspect about how/why Rep. Dana Rohrabacher was able to meet with Assange in August 2017

Mick Mulvaney is failing miserably at selling the Trump/Ryan tax cuts (for the super rich) as middle-of-the-road conservatives balk at the idea of getting screwed by their own party.

IT WAS TOM COTTON who was secretly trying to lube up the Trump/Ryan tax cuts (for the super rich) with killing health care for all the poors.

Republican Sen. Ron Johnson is the first to ditch the Trump/Ryan tax cuts (for the super rich), calling the bill "offensive" for its favorability of corporations over small businesses. [Archive]

Republicans are bailing out on budget talks while they try to ram through the Trump/Ryan tax cuts (for the super rich) so that Mitch McConnell and Paul Ryan don't lose anymore of their fledgling base if they fail to pass anything (again).

Later today the FCC is expected to repeal the ban on allowing media companies to own both newspapers and broadcasters in the same market. According to FCC chairman Ajit Pai, the rules are "no longer necessary to promote viewpoint diversity," however geeks (and Democrats) are arguing that this is just another move to allow Sinclair Broadcasting to gobble up newsrooms in Small Town, America.

The rumor mill on the Hill is churning with talk of strengthening the federal database used to conduct background checks on gun buyers, but there is no actual text for the NRA to bitch about.

Take a minute and read this interview with outgoing IRS head John Koskinen, where he warns about underfunding the IRS, and why the IRS is building a special safe to hold Trump's taxes.

Jeff Sessions sent bitchy letters to 29 sanctuary cities complaining about how "the protection of criminal aliens is more important than the protection of law-abiding citizens..." Funny, Sessions is more concerned about aliens than his homeboy's decades of kiddy diddling.

Mark Esper, a former career military man who graduated from West Point and then worked as an executive for a major defense contractor, is your new Army secretary.

The Heartland Institute recently sponsored an orgy of conservative activists to whine about their attempts to rape Mother Earth, and they have a literal scorecard of things they have and haven't fucked.

Expect to see a slew of new horrifying InstaBookFace pictures of people posing with dead animals now that the Trump administration is planning to roll back rules banning the import of dead elephant trophies.

Trump University is back in court after one of its victims claimed she was unable to opt-out from Trump's settlement, leading to a hilarious admission from Trump's attorney about about Judge Gonzalo Curiel.

Former Maryland Democratic Gov. (and the only person to run a presidential campaign worse than JEB!) Martin O'Malley has a new PAC to help down-ballot candidates.

A new lawsuit is alleging that Wall Street traders were conspiring to set Treasury bond prices, a $14 TRILLION dollar scam.

For some odd reason 55 absentee ballots arrived a day late for Virginia's House of Delegates race, forcing them to be thrown out and potentially swinging the election.

I present to you the story of the openly Republican Fox Bend County, Texas Sheriff and the big anti-Trump truck sticker that reads, "Fuck Trump and Fuck You For Voting For Him."

Reporters are wondering what the fuck Trump was talking about while flying back from Not America when he made up some story about Obama not going to the Philippines to meet with a murderous dictator.

Zimbabwe's President Robert Mugabe is currently under house arrest as the apparent military coup in Zimbabwe has brought opposition leader Morgan Tsvangirai and other regional allies to talk.

Russia may be booted out of the 2018 Olympics by the World Doping Agency.

Corporate shitheel and FCC Chairman Ajit Pai is scheduling the death of net neutrality for December, sending nerds from Silicon Valley to Syria into a panic.

Trump's White House is coming clean about how it warns tech companies about vulnerabilities, but most of the companies never bother to patch holes that allow shadowy assholes to hold your grandmas hostage for Internet funny money.

In the ashes of the 2018 National Defense Authorization Act is Mike Pence's "space corps." Sorry, space rangers, right now Uncle Sam needs bureaucracy more than it needs Buck Rogers.

GOOD NEWS, EVERYONE! Twitter perma-banned Baked Alaska (aka Tim Gionet), and while he sat outside an In-&-Out Burger crying on Youtube for over an hour, Twitter was also stripping white nationalists Richard Spencer and Jason Kessler of their verification badges.

The Koch brothers are apparently behind an attempted buyout of Time Inc., reportedly dumping $500 million Ameros into a deal that could bind a bunch of mind numbing suburban supermarket magazines under a single umbrella.

Steve Mnuchin and his bourgeois Barbie were on a tour of the Bureau of Engraving and Printing in DC where they decided to pose with a crisp and CREAMy new sheet of $1 bills.

The Bible Museum opens this weekend in DC, and while it acknowledges the Jews and women, it still really fucks up history.

And here's your late night wrap-up! Stephen Colbert had thoughts on Roy Moore's jew-bots; James Corden had some jokes on Trump's water problem; Jimmy Kimmel had Patton Oswalt tell Mike Huckabee jokes; The Daily Show is Trump-proofing the nukes; Jordan Klepper had Niccole Thurman splainer "judge" Brett Talley; Samantha Bee thinks Alabama can do better than Roy Moore

And here's your morning Nice Time! TONY, the derpy baby hippo!

Freedom isn't free, but Yr Wonkette is! Throw us some Ameros so things stay that way!

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Dominic Gwinn

Dominic is a broke journalist in Chicago. You can find him in a dirty bar talking to weirdos, or in a gutter taking photos.

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