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Good invitation, House GOP!

We wanted to take this moment to note that if Maxine Waters doesn't have to watch President Dumpster Chunks deliver his State of the Union address, we don't have to either. It's not like he's going to say the following things, which are all true:

  • The state of the union is under investigation for conspiring with a hostile foreign power to steal an election, and also for SO MUCH OBSTRUCTION OF JUSTICE.
  • The state of the union is being LOLed at by the rest of the world.
  • The state of the union is unwelcome in the UK and other civilized countries.
  • The state of the union is UNFIT FOR OFFICE.
  • The state of the union is OH MY GOD THERE IS NOT ENOUGH BOOZE IN THE WORLD to deal with watching King Poopstain Of The Best Words sound out whatever's written on the Teleprompter for eleventy minutes.

Instead of saying those true things, Trump will say lies, because that is all he's capable of doing. So meh, let's fuck with his TV ratings. If something real important happens at the SOTU, we'll write about it nice and early Wednesday morning.

There WILL be a thread here on Tuesday night for us to fellowship in, probably while we put up a video of the ROMY & MICHELLE movie. Doesn't that sound like a much better way to enjoy the State of the Union address? We think so. (PS and by the way, there will also be a night time thread here on THURSDAY night, because our friends at Lady Parts Justice League are doing an online telethon, featuring hilarious people like Sarah Silverman and Lizz Winstead and Andy Richter and many others doing a LMAO comedy show for a good cause, which is Lady Parts Justice. You will watch it here and YOU WILL LIKE IT!)

If you are a masochist who really wants a SOTU liveblog tomorrow night, we dunno, go to Vox or something and see if Ezra will make some dick jokes to make you feel right at home. (SPOILER: he will not. Or will he????)

As for tonight, here is your OPEN THREAD. Talk about whatever you talk about.

Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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Seattle People, looking spunky. We hate spunky.

It is Friday, Yr Wonkette's back end (that's website talk) has been cranky all afternoon like a digital babby that needs a nap, and we are all stuck in the stupidest timeline. The one way we know it's not actually hell is that there are still adorable doggies and kitties and sloths, no to mention toddlers preschoolers named Donna Rose, and of course you, you lovely wonderful readers of ourn. And if you're in Eastern Washington or its environs, you can come out to meet Yr Editrix, Yr Shypixel, and Yr one day Benevolent Monarch Donna Rose come this Sunday in the Evergreen State's second-largest city, Spokane!

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