Unelected QAnoners Take Oath Of Office, Post Weird, Sad Videos Of It

Conspiracy Theories

A big part of the reason why QAnon and other conspiracies are so attractive to certain kinds of people is because they make those people feel very special and important and included and as though they are a part of something bigger than themselves. See also, literally every cult that has ever existed in the history of the world. We always talk about cult leaders as though it's just people worshiping one random person because they think that person is super special and important, but it's more about how the followers feel about themselves.

Still, it's always nice to get them to swear a loyalty oath, just to weed out the folks who might make a break for it come Flavor Ade day. And that's what the Q people are doing now.

Earlier this week, Gen. Michael Flynn, with whom all the QAnoners are very obsessed, posted an update to the rightwing social media site Parler reading "Digital Soldiers are on the move (get ready!)"

In QAnon world, every Michael Flynn fart bears incredible significance, as they sort of see him as the leader of QAnon. So, on Wednesday, "Q" issued a drop informing followers that they are all now digital soldiers who must dedicate their entire lives to going on Facebook and Twitter and spreading the good word that there is a vast Satanic Deep State Adrenochrome Child Sex Ring conspiracy run by Hillary Clinton and friends, or whatever else it is they are on about these days.


As per usual, it made ... absolutely no sense whatsoever.

Via QMap (bolds and brackets in original):

You have been selected to help serve your Country.
Never retreat from the battlefield [Twitter, FB, etc.].
Use other platforms as a form of centralized command and control.
Organize and connect [bridge through linking].
Source meme(s) material from battlefield and/or garage [highlight & share][take & drop]
Mission 1: Dispute [reject] propaganda push through posting of research and facts
Mission 2: Support role of other digital soldiers [one falls another stands (rises)]
Mission 3: Guide [awaken] others through use of facts [DECLAS 1-99 material and other relevant facts] and memes [decouple MSDNC control of info stream] _ask 'counter' questions to initiate 'thought' vs repeat [echo] of MSDNC propaganda
Mission 4: Learn use of camouflage [digitally] _primary account suspended-terminated _use of secondary
Mission 5: Identify strengths / weaknesses [personal and designated target(s)] re: Twitter & FB [+other] example re: meme(s) failure to read through use of ALGO [think Tron (MCP_master control program)] _dependence on person-to-person capture [slow response time unidentified user(s)]
Game theory.
Information warfare.
Welcome to the Digital Battlefield.
Together we win.
Q

That is, indeed, a whole lot of nonsense. I don't know how anyone looks at that and goes "Oh boy, this sure is an enjoyable way to spend my time." But they do.

And it's sad, you know? That they think they are sharing "facts" and asking questions that initiate any thought other than "Oh boy, what is this person on?" It's hard to imagine being the person who would look at that and go "ME? A DIGITAL SOLDIER? I AM SO HONORED!" Or the person who would think that sharing memes like this one recommended by Q themselves, is just ... incredibly important work.

Black and white picture of Obama accusing him of Seditious Conspiracy and Treason, with the U.S. Codes for them, to make it look all official and mugshot-like.

Following all this, Q asked them to "take the oath," in order to swear in to their new roles as Digital Soldiers.

I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; that I take this obligation freely, without any mental reservation or purpose of evasion; and that I will well and faithfully discharge the duties of the office on which I am about to enter: So help me God. WWG1WGA.

You may have noticed that, apart from the little WWG1WGA at the end there, it is literally just the oath of office. It is not even the oath of enlistment that regular soldiers take, which is:

I, _____, do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; and that I will obey the orders of the President of the United States and the orders of the officers appointed over me, according to regulations and the Uniform Code of Military Justice. So help me God."

So I guess they're all senators now? Personally, I think it's a tad chintzy on the part of this Q Anon person to plagiarize an oath like that, particularly when it does not even make any sense at all for people not entering any kind of office, rather than making up their own. At the very least, they could have plagiarized an oath no one would immediately recognize, like the one from the Mr. Ed Fan Club:

'I, (your name here), do solemnly swear, to stop swearing so solemnly.'

Anyway, because these people do what they're told, Twitter was swiftly awash in incredibly earnest videos of QAnons taking the oath and also talking about how seeing other QAnons taking the oath was bringing them to tears and it was all incredibly uncomfortable!




These people are about as deputized as I was the time I won a neon green plastic sheriff's badge from Chuck E. Cheese, but they legitimately believe that they now have some kind of power to do citizen's arrests or obligation to stay on Facebook and Twitter all day and all night.

At least they're not annoying their families this way?

[Twitter]

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Robyn Pennacchia

Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. In addition to her work at Wonkette, she also has a biweekly column at Dame. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse

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