Unqualified Woman Distantly Related To Donald Trump Ponders Her Next Big Political Move

Trump

The House of Representatives has commenced its second annual impeachment of Donald Trump, so that's as good a time as any to discuss his heir to the throne, Ivanka Trump, who'll carry on his proud legacy in the White House.

No, stop, this is a serious issue that demands serious consideration and discussion.

Ivanka Trump, whose LinkedIn profile is best summarized as “Donald Trump's daughter," plans to deny her father, refuse her name (temporarily), and attend Joe Biden's inauguration next week. The big question is “who invited her?"

According to a “White House insider," who is absolutely, 100 percent not Ivanka Trump herself, the first daughter wants to be a “good sport" and show up at the inauguration no one has invited her to attend. Her motivation is, as always, her personal self-aggrandizement.


Grain of salt for "Daily Mail," but the Daily Mail reports:

Ivanka is worried that her promising political career is in jeopardy and she's doing whatever she can to save her reputation,' the source says.

That's right. Ivanka Trump's mind, a fractured fairy tale theater, has convinced itself that whatever it is she does qualifies as a “political career." She also believe it holds promise, even as her mob-inciting father is run out of town on a rail.

Vanity Fair's Bess Levin reminded us of this hilarious passage from Michael Wolf's Fire and Fury:

The First Children couple were having to navigate Trump's volatile nature just like everyone else in the White House. And they were willing to do it for the same reason as everyone else — in the hope that Trump's unexpected victory would catapult them into a heretofore unimagined big time. Balancing risk against reward, both Jared [Kushner] and Ivanka decided to accept roles in the West Wing over the advice of almost everyone they knew. It was a joint decision by the couple, and, in some sense, a joint job. Between themselves, the two had made an earnest deal: If sometime in the future the opportunity arose, she'd be the one to run for president. The first woman president, Ivanka entertained, would not be Hillary Clinton; it would be Ivanka Trump.

Obviously, Ivanka Trump is an idiot, but she doesn't even understand the political movement that put her demagogue dad in the White House. Maybe there was a political future for her in some alternate reality where Trump remained the phony “successful" businessman he played on "The Apprentice." America is sexist AF, and the male pundits who made their bones dragging Hillary Clinton for petty shit somehow liked Ivanka Trump for ... reasons.

Twitter


Twitter

Even Democratic Party activist Julie Roginsky fell for Ivanka Trump's banana in the tailpipe.

Twitter

But that was the peak of her “promise." She's now indelibly associated with a corrupt, white supremacist regime that locked up children and dabbled in coups. Meghan McCain probably has a higher “Q" rating.

Unfortunately, Trumpism won't end at noon on January 20, but its true heir is likely Donald Trump Jr., not Ivanka. He best represents the MAGA mob that attacked the Capitol and threatens Republicans into submission like common gangsters. Ivanka was quick to retract her tweet calling the mob “American patriots"and politely asking them to stop their insurrection. Trump Jr. hasn't deleted his tweet when he told his father's supporters to stop “acting like the other side," which is a perfect distillation of Trumpism. No matter how bad MAGA goons might behave, the “other side," whom Trump Jr. doesn't even acknowledge as fellow Americans, is worse.

It's still rumored that Trump might launch his 2024 revival at the same time Biden is sworn into office. However, Trump's political star has fallen in the GOP after his attempted Godfather Part III hit last week, and announcing another presidential run when he's just been impeached might convince Mitch McConnell to let him hang in the Senate.

He's still warned Ivanka to stay away from Biden's big day.

[Trump] said it's an insult that she would even want to engage with the crooks that are trying to bring him down,' says [White House] insider, adding that Trump said the family must stand together and put on a united front.

'The president told his daughter that her presence at the inauguration will cost her thousands of supporters and would be the worst decision she could ever make,' they say.

Also, no one's invited her. Seriously, you can't just show up to these things. Thanks to dear old dad's mob, security's gonna be tight AF.

Our advice to Ivanka Trump: Stay home and watch Hamilton on Disney Plus. It might seem especially relevant now.

[Washington Post / Vanity Fair]

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Stephen Robinson

Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He writes reviews for the A.V. Club and make believe for Cafe Nordo, an immersive theatre space in Seattle. He's also on the board of the Portland Playhouse theatre. His son describes him as a “play typer guy."

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