BREAKING NEWS THAT IS BREAKING:

Wonkette needs you to know that, according to the people at Media Matters and the Daily Beast who are paid to watch Fox News every night of their lives, Sean Hannity and Laura Ingraham are still totally not upset about their text messages to Mark Meadows being part of the congressional record of January 6. They are not upset that we can all see how cynical and dishonest they are as human beings, as they started manufacturing conspiracy theories about the not-an-insurrection at literally the same time they were freaking out trying to get Meadows to get Donald Trump to stop the not-an-insurrection he not-incited.

They were not upset two nights ago, and they were not upset last night. See?

That's last night's handoff. See how totally chill it is? Laura Ingraham pretends to cry like a real person with human emotions, saying, "I don't think Liz Cheney likes us very much," which makes Sean Hannity laugh. For the next however many seconds, they performatively reassure each other that they are OK and that their grief counseling is working, and Hannity says his "heart goes pitter-patter," he is so upset. It is very convincing.

As Acyn from Media Matters suggests, this next video also serves as proof of how VERY NOT FURIOUS MAD Sean Hannity is at Liz Cheney. Maybe he's feeling excited because he's flanked by such super cool white people as Lara Trump and Jim Jordan — who's also caught up in this — but the volume of his voice does strangely tick up as he says he'd like to see "all Cheney family texts, emails, transcripts, phone calls, kissing Donald Trump's ASS to get a pardon for Scooter Libby."

Ooh, fightin' words! If you gots somethin' to say about the Libby pardon, Hannity, spill it! You know, unless he's just talking out his ass.

In this next video, Ingraham explains to Liz Cheney's primary opponent Harriet Hageman, non-angrily, that Cheney is "not a Republican" because she "doesn't seem to care about any of the issues people are really worried about." You know how Republicans are into "issues" and "policy" LOL.

Do bucktoothed racism and trying to overthrow democracy to bring about a white ethnostate count as "issues" and "policy"? Please advise, Laura Ingraham.

So we guess that's what Fox News is now. If your elderly white racist neighbors — the ones whose ugly Christmas lights say "Let's Go Brandon" — turn on Fox News while sitting at home by themselves waiting to die, they're going to inhale several hours in a row of seething people talking about how much they hate Liz Cheney, while trying to pretend they're not really that mad.

Tucker Carlson got in on it two nights ago, in the bizarrest of ways, the same night Ingraham and Hannity were gaslighting America about how their diametrically opposed public and private statements on January 6 were actually the exact same. Tucker called Liz Cheney "power-drunk" and a "liar," then continued to spread his own trademark white supremacist conspiracy theories about how January 6 wasn't an insurrection, and how the peaceful, democracy-loving American patriot protesters who gently invaded the Capitol that day had a point about the election being unfair. Philip Bump's Washington Post analysis of that monologue sure is somethin' to read.

Last night, Tucker spread some more conspiracy theories about Adam Schiff doctoring Jim Jordan's January 6 texts. He began the segment with this totally not defensive quote:

"So you always hear 'Fox News is propaganda!' No, there's actually more news on Fox News than any other channel. More actual news, which is to say, facts."

Well that is just *CHEF'S KISS* as they say on the internet.

In summary and in conclusion, none of these people are mad, they are all very glad, and Liz Cheney is the greatest devil tyrant Democrat in the history of devil tyrant Democrats, and Fox News is the newsiest news channel that ever said the news.

The end.

Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter.

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