- Hooray, the demon water main that plagued Bethesda with rapids of inconvenience has been fixed. It is hilariously located on River Road, which is also now re-opened. [DC Examiner]
- More tragic news of journalism layoffs: The "U" has been fired from the sign atop the USA Today building. It will now blog for the Daily Beast. [Fishbowl DC]
- There's been an increase in juvenile DC murderers this year, some as young as 16. But are they killing at a tenth-grade level? [Washington Post]
- Nine MUSLIMS were removed from a flight to MUSLIM-dominated Florida out of National after some passengers heard them talking about airplanes, a highly suspicious, Muslim-y thing to do while on board an airplane. [WTOP]
- Today is the deadline to apply for a prime spot as a member of Obama's Inauguration team. You will be paid with a "commemorative volunteer credential," which will soon out-value United States currency. [DCist]
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