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LORD HAVE MERCY the leaks continue to spill about Vanessa Trump, who is in the process of divorcing the unfortunate science experiment that happened the first time Donald Trump participated in human reproduction. Apparently things have been getting kinda stinky in divorce-y town, and because the Trumps are a nasty family, they've been leaking stuff (allegedly!) about Vanessa to the New York Post. For instance, last time we had a story about this, it was a thing about how Vanessa Trump used to date MS-13's big brother or something, and you know how jittery Daddy Trump is about the Hispanics.


We originally saw this story in Vanity Fair, but don't worry, because it came from Page Six originally, so we can be PURTY SURE it was leaked by either Donald Trump Jr., or his publicist, John Barron Jr. The new news is that Vanessa had ANOTHER interesting boyfriend before she got trapped underneath a Trump grundle and couldn't get out for over a decade, and he was a Saudi Arabian Prince!

Let's look at the Vanity Fair headline, which is written in the style of Just Asking Questions:

OMG DID IT? Vanity Fair, you should be ASHAMED of yourself.

Let's see how Page Six does it:

That is ... vaguely less tacky than the VF headline? Weird!

Anyway, so we are getting to the heart of the story. Vanessa Trump dated MS-13, but then they broke up, and she was going to marry a Saudi Arabian, which may have caused 9/11 or something, according to our extremely lazy reading of the Vanity Fair headline. But isn't that the point, though? Hell, maybe Rudy Giuliani leaked this story himself and actually provided the noun "Vanessa Trump" to go with the verb and "9/11."

Here is the meat of the story, from Page Six:

Vanessa Trump moved on to a Saudi prince — whose father was once suspected of indirect ties to the 9/11 attackers — after her romances with Latin King Valentin Rivera and Leo DiCaprio.

Gotcha, you betcha. Vanessa Trump was dating the Latin gang member, and also this twit from the Titanic movie, but after that, she moved on to what she really wanted, which was somebody who was maybe connected to the 9/11 hijackers.

Sources told Page Six ...

"Sources."

... that Vanessa and Prince Khalid bin Bandar bin Sultan Al Saud were even planning to marry until the Sept. 11 attacks.

“They dated from 1998 to 2001 and lived together. He ditched her on 9/11; days after, he flew back to Saudi Arabia. They were planning to marry [at the time]. They were inseparable,” a source told Page Six.

Aw that sucks. If she had stayed with the Saudi prince, maybe none of the rest of the awfulness would have ever happened. By the way, her Saudi ex-boyfriend Bandar bin Sultan al Saud is the son of the one they call Bandar Bush, due to how he used to make out with George W. Bush and his dad a lot, that's how close they all are. So if he's connected to 9/11, so are the Bushes. (And no, you idiots, that is not a Truther comment, that is just a fact about how incestuous stuff is when you get into the big money AWL BID'NESS.)

Page Six assesses that this was the height of Vanessa Trump's dating/marriage career, because the gang member was gross, and clearly no human in their right mind congregates with Donald Trump Jr.'s penis because that's their first choice in life, whereas this Saudi prince was the bees knees, a guy who really, really loved her.

Maybe she should give him a ringy dingy and see what's up these days. If she lost his phone number, she could probably get it from that Saudi prince Jared Kushner has sleepovers with, OH MY GOD THESE FUCKING PEOPLE.

Page Six throws some cold water on that idea, though. First of all, they talked to another "source" who said actually Bandar Junior 'n' Vanessa weren't really sitting in a tree that hard, and besides, Bandar married some British gal named Lucy a few years back. (Meanwhile, DADDY BANDAR was one of the ones arrested in the purge started by Jared Kushner's Saudi BFF, possibly based on intel Jared leaked at him. Did we finish the last paragraph with OH MY GOD THESE FUCKING PEOPLE? Oh well, doing it again.)

Finally, for no reason at all, Page Six reminds us that Vanessa Trump has hundreds of millions of dollars in Marinara Money, because her family is like the emperor of marinara or something.

In related news, HuffPost's Ashley Feinberg noticed something kinda weird on Junior's Instagram, and it is that his new girlfriend Kimberly Guilfoyle is liking pictures of HIS CHILDREN, before mommy and daddy's divorce is even final:

Bless her heart, that is some tacky shit.

We know the Trumps are famous for their nondisclosure agreements, which is why we hope Vanessa Trump's lawyers are inserting loopholes big enough to drive a Mack truck through, so she can give us a tell all book when this is all done.

She deserves it.

OK, open thread, GO!

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[Page Six]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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Once upon a time, Immigration and Customs Enforcement officers at least claimed to focus their efforts entirely on immigrants involved in criminal activity. Those days are long gone, and now they're going after anyone, including law-abiding people who are just trying to drive their pregnant wives to the hospital to give birth.

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I'd mentioned this week that there's definitely probably a tape out there of Donald Trump referring to a black person as a "nigger," because Trump is a racist and that's sort of what they do. Sarah Huckabee Sanders won't even affirmatively deny such a tape exists, and she's from the "two plus two equals five" school of communications management. I also speculated that once the tape was released, Republican supporters of the president would flock to defend his vile words: "Hey, if you rearrange the letters in "nigger," you get "ginger" and who doesn't like redheads and the occasional Dark 'n' Stormy?"

The shameful display has already started and the supposed recording isn't even available for pre-order on iTunes. Georgia State Senator Michael Williams stated in appearance on CNN's "New Day Saturday" that if Trump -- who's the president, by the way -- did say "nigger," it would certainly concern him as an "individual" but "not necessarily as a person that is running our country." So, uh, what the hell is that? This has been a standard argument from Republicans ever since Trump crawled his way out of the sewers of birtherism and onto a major political stage: "We think Trump is a terrible human being -- seriously, we have to shower immediately after meeting with him -- but we still think he's a suitable steward of the most powerful nation on the planet."

Normally, you'd think this would work the other way. You know, your brother-in-law is a nice enough guy. Your sister certainly could've done worse. You don't mind the slightly rambling sports-ball discussions with him at family gatherings. He's good for looking after the kids (as long as your sister is present or reachable by cell), but you'd never invest your hard-earned money into whatever half-assed business venture he's trying to get off the ground nor would you back his run for any serious political office.

I've long had issues with the "brilliant asshole" archetype in TV and movies. It's almost always a white male (because women and minorities must be perfect) whose emotional immaturity and overall jerkass behavior we're told to overlook because they're so goshdarned awesome. Do you want some PC "cuck" or do you want Dr. House to figure out that the MS symptoms you're suffering are really just because you ate a stale doughnut? Sherlock Holmes doesn't have time for your feelings or social niceties -- not while he's solving mysteries and being dreamy.

Trump, however, isn't "brilliant." He's just a guy who says "nigger." They're hardly a scarcity in the market. You don't even have to venture out to a klan rally to find one. You can order online -- same day social media delivery.

Williams argues that Trump didn't use the word "nigger" when he was in the "office of the president." It was just some youthful indiscretion when he was almost 60. I don't even know where he's going with this. Does he think Trump has changed? He routinely insults and belittles black people. He also calls black NFL players who peacefully protest "sons of bitches." Was that his way of weaning off calling us "niggers"? Has he been wearing a "nigger" patch on his arm to control his cravings for the racial epithet?

"He used the word in his personal life," Williams said. (It was actually in a workplace context -- SER) "Now if he were president and were to go on TV and use the n-word, I'd have a major problem with that."

media.giphy.com

It's heartening repulsive to see that Williams draws the line at Trump holding an official "nigger" press conference. I think once we reach that point, Trump will probably also reveal that his buddies on the Supreme Court discovered a typo in the Thirteenth Amendment and black folks' work-life balance will start to really suffer.

"I will always say using the n-word is wrong, and it's bad, and should never be accepted in our society. But just because (Trump) might have done it years ago, not as our president, doesn't mean we need to continue to berate him because he used it," GOP state Sen. Michael Williams, who is white, told CNN's Victor Blackwell on "New Day Saturday."

Blackwell, who is black, had to sit there and listen to this crap from a white elected official who is just 45 years old. You know, the word "nigger" doesn't even appear in the Dred Scott decision, for example, but that's not necessary for reasonable people to understand that it was racist as hell. We all know Trump is racist, but now Republicans can't even repudiate the worst demonstrations of his racial animus. The first black president hasn't even been out of office for two full years and already "nigger" is being redefined. What would once end a campaign in its tracks when Blackwell and I were growing up is now just an "oops, my bad."

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