Very Smart Trump Lawyer Like What Even Is 'Espionage'? Is That Like French For Jaywalking? I'M SO SURE!

Very Smart Trump Lawyer Like What Even Is 'Espionage'? Is That Like French For Jaywalking? I'M SO SURE!

We think Alina Habba, who is by our count one of Donald Trump's three stupidest (current) lawyers, may be even less competent than we thought.

Here she is, doing her very hard lawyering work of going on Charlie Kirk's show and talking about all the "mundane" crimes they are investigating Donald Trump for, like the Presidential Records Act and obstruction of justice and like espionage or something, what is that even, is that like getting caught with a joint at school?

OK officer, I'm so sure!

They're trying to "criminalize" Trump, she says, so "they found these three mundane statutes, espionage and the two others." Really, she said that, a person who is technically a real lawyer.

A few seconds later, referring to all those Top Secret documents, Habba says, "If they're declassified, like he has a right to do," which is interesting to us for two reasons. For one, she doesn't say they are declassified, probably because they just fucking aren't. For two, he doesn't have a right to do dick, because he is less than nobody. He is not president of the United States, and it appears his final act in that role was to betray his country by stealing Top Secret documents, and we don't know exactly what kind of traitorous purposes he stole them for.

Quite frankly, we are not sure how this person passed the bar, so one footnote from last night's filing might read as very "mundane" to her, but as Law & Crime explains, it makes clear that this goes way beyond some picky Presidential Records Act investigation, and that the other potential crimes do not simply fall "under the Presidential Records Act," as Habba attempts to argue above:

Trump’s lawyers have minimized the potentially serious legal jeopardy the former president could be facing under the Espionage Act, obstruction of justice or other statutes by arguing that there is “no criminal enforcement mechanism” under the Presidential Records Act.

The Justice Department, however, emphasized in its fifth footnote that the investigation goes far beyond that law.

“These accusations are belied by the statutes cited in the government’s search warrant, which make clear that this investigation is not simply about efforts to recover improperly retained Presidential records,” it reads. “Moreover, 18 U.S.C. § 2071 criminalizes the concealment or removal of government records, including Presidential records.”

Hey, know how everybody has been saying that Donald Trump's lawyers probably need to quit and hire lawyers of their own?

Here is a tweet about that:

Thoughts and prayers!

And since you obviously want more clips from the Charlie Kirk show, here's Charlie, sitting there with that head that is at least three football fields wider than his teeny tiny shoulders, just being pretty sure that the FBI put one of those Time magazines where they put it to SCARE Donald Trump and all the idiot Americans who love him.

Sure thing, little buddy.


[Law & Crime]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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