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Runaway Wisconsin State Senator Wins Internet

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Wisconsin's State Senate Democrats are now officially hiding from police in a "secure location outside the Capitol." So they must no longer be in the state, because when you think Wisconsin, you think danger. Anyway, this harrowing experience has not stopped State Senator Lena C. Taylor from winning the Internet today. Congratulations, Sen. Taylor! UPDATE: They've been located.


UPDATE:

Wisconsin state Democrats who refused to show up for a vote on Governor Walker's budget repair bill have been located.

The lawmakers are in Rockford, Illinois at the Best Western Clock Tower Resort.

Ooh! What are they up to? Let's look at this hotel's website:

Enjoy a great family experience with 65,000 square feet of indoor water park fun at CoCo Key Water Resort and Key Quest Arcade. Day passes are available as well as overnight stay with water park pass packages.

Also at our resort is the SunDial Restaurant and the Tilted Kilt Pub & Eatery. Visit www.tiltedkiltrockford.com for a list of events and specials at Rockford's hottest new sports pub!

Getting drunk and floating around one of those "lazy river" things. Not only have Wisconsin Democrats won the Internet, they have won life.

[Facebook/TMJ4/Clock Tower Resort]

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If there is one thing that decrepit "rocker" Ted Nugent hates, it is gun-free zones. Over the years, he has insisted that they are very dangerous and pretty much the number one cause of mass shootings. They caused Columbine and mean "more body bags" and "more crime" and even "workplace violence"! They are "killing fields"! THEY ARE ALL THE BAD THINGS!

You see where we're going with this right?

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Oh hey, Maria Butina the Russian spy lady, you are still in jail!

Butina, who was arrested Sunday for being a Russian spy who infiltrated the NRA in order to infiltrate the GOP for her motherland, is supposed to appear in court this afternoon, and in advance of that, prosecutors have filed a really fun motion listing all the reasons Butina should be required to STAY IN JAIL until her trial, at which point she will be found guilty as a common Paul Manafort and have to go to so much more jail. In short, it is because she is a major flight risk, but the document is a much better read than that, and it has boning. Shall we give it a look?

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