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Virginia: The Mystery State

7:30 p.m. OK, it's not 2000: It's weirder. Virginia is too close to call. Kerry pulled out of there last month; it shouldn't have just gone Bush, it should have been wearing a cowboy hat and shooting guns off. Like, we're pretty sure that slavery is still legal there. Did they really stop watching NASCAR long enough to vote?


[UPDATE from Virginia: "no NASCAR races on Tuesday. Not even qualifying or (ahem) 'Happy Hour.' And I suppose whatever was on Speed Channel today was boring, or fancy Euro Indy cars with French drivers." Now you know.]

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The Dumb Song Of J. Dinesh Prufrock

A quick Dear Shitferbrains for you smart kids today, in response to our recent piece on Dinesh D'Souza's continued insistence that historian Kevin M. Kruse please bitchslap him with facts again and again. It turns out we picked the wrong historian to lionize, according to "Hadding Scott," who dropped by to let us know we had foolishly referred to a mere Princeton professor instead of to the most comprehensive take-down-er of D'Souza's lies, "Hadding Scott" himself.

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Among the primary results from Tuesday that we didn't report: Chris Murphy, US Senator from Connecticut, managed to hold on to the Democratic nomination for a second term. Actually, if you want to get all technical about it, he didn't win the nom Tuesday -- he'd already been nominated at the state party convention in May, and the Dem primary was cancelled since Murphy was the only one to file. Murphy's also heavily favored to win reelection this fall. The biggest question for Murphy is whether he's hoping to seek some other office in a couple years. (As if any prominent Democratic senator hasn't already mentally compared their inaugural crowd size to Trump's.)

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