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Vladdy Putin Pledges To Take Young Voters' Virginity

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Vladimir Putin is all set to steal the Russian presidential election this week, so who knows why he's even bothering to make campaign ads, but here's one in which a young Russian girl (a tween?) is told that Vladimir Putin is the right man to take her virginity. Her political virginity? Eh, either one probably works for Putin.


Here, via a friendly KGB agent at Animal New York, is the rough translation:

“We’ll find out, little beauty, who faith has in store for you.”

“You know, I hope it’s for love.” Blink-blink-blink. “It’s my… first time.”

“The carrrds will tell the truth… I see it will be for love… without deception…” (AHEM AHEM)

A Putin card is revealed.

“Wow. It’s him!”

“You’ll be happy with him. He’ll protect you like a stone wall.” (Or something…)

And the kicker:

Putin. First time — only for

How has Newt Gingrich not made this ad yet?

[Animal New York via Buzzfeed]

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