Closeted adult illiterate Dick Cheney needs somebody to read the papers for him, says the NY Daily News. The VP recently circulated privately a job posting that included the following:

"The Press Assistant is responsible for monitoring media for various national security and domestic issues, informing the Press Secretary and Deputy Press Secretary of issues of note and factual inaccuracies in the media. "

That job is apparently filled, but according to Kotaku, Hillary Clinton is still looking for a very special volunteer:

Sources tell me that Clinton has been asking around for volunteers for a new anti-violence in video games initiative. Specifically, Clinton is trolling for someone how feels passionate about extreme violence in video games....The "concerned parent" would need to attend a press conference to make a short statement and should be able to deal with annoying reporters asking questions like: Did Sen. Clinton send out a memo asking for someone like you to talk for her at a press conference?

More here.