Wanna Watch Stacey Abrams Calmly Kick Lindsey Graham's Antebellum Ass?

This picture feels appropriate for this post.

If you were on Wonkette on Tuesday, you know the Senate Judiciary Committee had a hearing on the GOP's new spate of Jim Crow-style laws to stop Black voters and others they view as less-than from voting. Stacey Abrams testified, Georgia Democratic Senator Raphael Warnock testified, some others testified. And of course, the GOP showed its racist dumb ass.

Doesn't mean there weren't some fun moments, though!

Here are three of our favorites:

The Part Where Stacey Abrams Calmly Kicked Lindsey Graham's Antebellum Ass And Fed It To Him

Well, if you wanted to watch Stacey Abrams issue a beatdown to that craven asshole senator from the state next door to hers, the one whose name has come up in the Fulton County district attorney's investigation into criminal election interference in their own state, Abrams delivered.

She wouldn't have been so politely mean if Lindsey Graham hadn't been such a sniveling piece of shit.

Graham thought he could throw all kinds of questions at Abrams and get her to somehow trip up and admit whatever bullshit Fox News watchers snort off each other's buttcracks. He was not successful.

GRAHAM: Do you support voter identification laws?

ABRAMS: Yes. There are 35 states in the United States that have had voter identification laws. In fact, every state requires some form of identification. What I've objected to is restrictive voter identification laws that narrow the set of permissible materials.

Huh. Well that first line of questioning went nowhere.

Graham kept interrupting Abrams's answer, because we guess she wasn't giving him an opportunity to say any zingers that might earn him a spot on Hannity's lap tonight.

He moved on.

GRAHAM: Do you support the idea that voting should be limited to American citizens?


Dammit! Which voter frauds does this woman support? She must support some of them!

GRAHAM: Do you support ballot harvesting, or are you familiar with that term?

Is Abrams aware of ballot harvesting, and does she know what wingnut pundits and GOP congressmen mean when they say that term to racists through the television set?

ABRAMS: I'm familiar with the term of art that's been propagated to describe a variety efforts. But for example, in Native American reservations, where they are precluded from access, due to underfunding, to reach in a timely fashion locations for voting, I do believe that it's appropriate for tribal elders to collect the ballots and retrieve them and use a single source of delivery to provide those ballots and thus provide Native Americans with the opportunity to participate in elections.

Oh, that makes sense. Graham appeared to understand that makes sense. So he cleverly asked:

GRAHAM: Do you support it beyond Native American voting?

Oh Christ.

Abrams calmly explained, again, that the term has been used to describe a number of efforts, and affirmed that "to the extent that they help voters participate in elections in a lawful manner, they should be permitted." You guys, to Republicans, this is controversial stuff.

Speaking of "controversial," that was when Lindsey decided it was time to whine about people calling Republicans racist just for passing racist Republican voter suppression laws like common Republican racists.

GRAHAM: Do you believe the Republican majority in Georgia — House, Senate — when they are making the changes to your state voting laws, do you think they are motivated by trying to suppress the African-American vote?

ABRAMS: I have seen it happen that sometimes they are.

You know, just a time or two.

ABRAMS: I have seen other bills that have been truly bipartisan in nature.

GRAHAM: But do you believe that's the motivation behind these laws?

ABRAMS: I believe the motivation behind certain provisions in SB 202 are a direct result to the increased participation of communities of color in the 2020 and 2021 elections.

Such a diplomatic way of saying of course, you idiot.

Lindsey Graham had had it. "I"m out of time," he bitched and moaned. His final attempt at a zinger was to see if he could get Abrams to call Jan Jones, the GOP Georgia House speaker who was also testifying Tuesday, a racist. Does Abrams think Jones is "motivated by trying to limit the African-American voters in Georgia?"

Abrams didn't take the bait. She doesn't know Jan Jones's heart. She just knows what Jan Jones did.

ABRAMS: I believe there is racial animus that generated those bills. I would not assume that that racial animus is shared by every person. But the result is that racial animus exists and if it eliminates access to the right to vote then regardless of a certain person's heart, if the effect is deleterious to the ability of people of color to participate in elections then that is problematic and that is wrong.

It should be rejected by all.

Enough said.

Moving on!

The Part Where Chuck Grassley Thought Atlanta Was Bigger Than The BIGGEST COW IN IOWA!

According to the internet, the state of Georgia has somewhere hovering around 11 million people. The Atlanta metro area is six million of that.

But that didn't stop GOP Senator Chuck Grassley from being an absolute idiot while trying to explain what Major League Baseball did to Atlanta by moving its All-Star Game. Grassley accused MLB of doing "economic terrorism" to Atlanta, just because actual Americans really hate Jim Crow-style voter suppression laws, and corporations are following suit.

But worse than that, Grassley said the move is "likely to cost the city's economy 100 million jobs!"

Did you know all Atlanta metro citizens work at the All-Star Game, but not only that, millions of their future descendants and also their ancestors?

Maybe he meant "dollars" and not "jobs," who fucking cares what he meant, he's way past his expiration date.

The Part Where Raphael Warnock Cut The Bullshit And Called These Voter Suppression Laws What They Are

This was great. No really, just, when Senator Warnock talks, you listen. We have nothing to add, so we'll just transcribe.

WARNOCK: We may be tempted to dissect these bills, as if analyzing them piece by piece makes them more rational. But that narrow analysis only obscures the larger, unmistakable picture. This is a full-fledged assault on voting rights, unlike anything we have seen since the era of Jim Crow. For all of their differences in exactly how they suppress the vote, what these bills all share is that they are predicated on the Big Lie. That the outcome of our last elections were the result of fraud, or at least the presidential election.

I guess the members who won their elections are okay with that outcome.

The truth is politicians, in their craven lust for power, are willing to sacrifice our democracy by using the Big Lie as a pretext for their true aim: Some people don't want some people to vote.

The end.

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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