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WaPo Contorting Into Strange, Condescending Analysis To Get Some Of Those Sweet 'kagan gay??' Google Hits

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Nothing like a Friday morning screen shot of strange things from the washingtonpost.com front page, is there? Here's the situation: theWashington Post would like to get in on the "Is Elena Kagan a massive lesbo?" debate -- which is rapidly moving up the list of establishment Washington media's most childish and embarrassing narratives in history -- but it must approach the "big story" with the typical sense of being above-it-all, best achieved with the old trick of blaming ALL AMERICANS and their stupidity for the fact that something stupid is in the news, which they write.


"Are we a nation of busybodies?" Ha ha ha, FUCK YOU EVERYONE IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA for forcing 10-15 professional Washington biddies to gossip about this stupid baseless nonsense all week in their heroic printed investigatively-reported journalistic truth beacons! And look at Ruth Marcus, to the left. Is Ruth Marcus a "nation of busybodies" all to herself? Yes of course! Great layout, WaPo.com editors. But Ruth Marcus is saying that Elena Kagan is not a lesbian, so it's more Mature, and she's only saying this to feed the insatiable busybodies anyway. "SHE'S NOT A LESBIAN. Here is the picture of why all of you stupid fucking Americans think she is a lesbian, tho. GROW UP, AMERICA! STOP MAKING ME WRITE THIS COLUMN YOU STUPID FLYOVER-STATE MONSTERS!"

Anyway.

But really, jesus. "Marcus: Kagan's not gay, okay? Though the discussion would be easier if she were." Huh? What? Huh? This is your weekly political column?

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Is there ANY good news for the bumblefucking Trump re-election campaign these days? Their polling numbers are in the shitter, therefore Trump is firing the pollsters. Trump's Hitler rally kickoff event in Florida last night was ... whatever it was. Oh, and did we mention that they ain't got no money? Like, of course, not counting whatever Russian money they're not telling us about.

Don Jr. recently called a prominent donor and warned that Trump's money haul is falling behind where Barack Obama was early in his reelection, while Jared Kushner has privately complained to RNC chairwoman Ronna Romney McDaniel that Trump's war chest is not as big as it should be at this point in the cycle.

Whiiiiiiiiiine. Guess they're gonna have to see if they can launder some rubles somewhere, ALLEGEDLY.

Gabe Sherman has some more bad news about Trump's shithole campaign, and it is that Robert and Rebekah Mercer, the father-daughter billionaire duo who bankrolled much of Trump's "victory" in 2016 -- including funding Breitbart, and also the part of the "victory" that comprised Cambridge Analytica, the data company they owned that may have done some real hinky stuff, possibly with Russia, in order to get Trump "elected" -- have zipped up their checkbooks and decided Trump can go eat dicks for all they care.

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Spinal Tap - Gimme Some Money

Some dick is suing your Wonkette! If you are able, will you please send money?

1. Pick "just once" or "monthly."

2. Pick an amount, like say "all of the money."

3. Click "paypal" if you are paypal or "stripe" if you are not paypal.

4. MONEY.

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