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A militia leader from Washington state was arrested last week in West Virginia and will be extradited back to Washington after allegedly trying to extort money from members of his own little band of patriots. James "Russell" Bolton was arrested by West Virginia state police Thursday at his parents' home in Princeton, West Virginia, after a Washington judge signed a warrant on five counts of extortion and one of attempted theft. Bolton had allegedly left letters outside some of his militia pals' homes, threatening dire consequences if the victims didn't come up with large amounts of cash. The letters implied the threats were from Mexican drug cartels, which as we all know regularly target goofball militia dipshits.

Gee, who ever would have thought anyone in the wingnut militia movement would do something like that? Before you get all judgey of Mr. Bolton, keep in mind It's all probably a plot by the New World Order and international bankers to make patriots look unstable.


As the Spokane Spokesman-Review reports, Bolton ran for Stevens County Sheriff in 2010, coming in dead last in a four-person primary despite the enthusiastic endorsement of "constitutional sheriff" wingnut Richard Mack, the former sheriff of Graham County, Arizona. You may remember Mack from his minor role in the 2014 Bundy Militia hootenanny in Nevada, where he proposed sending women out to get shot by federal agents, thus turning America against the feds forever without any of the militia dudes themselves being in danger. Back in 2010, the paper reports, Mack "said, half-jokingly,"

I pray for the day when a constitutional sheriff, and maybe it will be Russell Bolton … will know and understand that it will be his duty to arrest a couple of IRS agents.

Funny how the people Mack thinks are just the best folks so often get arrested in crazy-ass violent schemes, huh? If that isn't proof of a conspiracy against America-loving patriots, we don't know what is.

(You also may remember Mack from this. LONG SIGH.)

After the people of Stevens County failed to respect the Constitution and make him sheriff, Bolton formed a militia, the "Stevens County Assembly," and yes, OF COURSE it has a defunct but archived website full of rightwing paranoia, like an insistence that the federal government is prohibited from owning any land other than the District of Columbia and military bases, and since the Constitution says the feds have exclusive powers in those areas, no federal law other than the Constitution applies anywhere else, that is just logic. A "Global Affects" [sic] page warns that China and Rooshia are out to get us (well ... yeah), and other sections fulminate about the imminent threat eastern Washington faces from illegal immigrants and radical jihadists, both of whom are everywhere. And yes, the UN is going to usurp American sovereignty using Agenda 21, just as it always has. Probably with bike lanes.

Our favorite page is the one urging readers to develop their critical thinking skills!

Like the uprising to take America back, it just never arrived.

The threatening letters demanded their recipients pay between $10,000 and $250,000, amounts suggesting a certain "from each according to his ability" approach -- a clever ploy to make the sender seem like a socialist. The threats were similar, claiming to be from someone with the very typical drug lord name "Alessio Don De Grande." Stevens County Undersheriff Loren Erdman wrote a report, "The author eludes [sic] to being part of a criminal enterprise or gang." Hmmm ... with spelling like that, should we wonder whether Erdman was secretly working on the website?

And because this was a militia loon attempting to extort other militia loons, one targeted couple decided to fight back with their very own spycraft, as the Spokesman-Review explains:

The first letter had instructed the couple to place an envelope full of money in their mailbox. Instead, they set up a hidden camera and stuffed the envelope with a powder designed to dye the culprit's skin purple. (The man told deputies he had bought it via the internet.) [The paper includes an Amazon link. Enterprising! -- Dok Z]

The couple shared with deputies a video and a blurry photo that appeared to show a small white SUV stopping at the mailbox, but it wasn't enough to identify a suspect, according to court records. The man also told deputies he had tried to pursue the SUV but couldn't keep up.

Another couple received a letter telling them to turn over $250,000 or they would be killed and their property would be taken, because you know how it is with the cartels and eminent domain.

The couple told the undersheriff they had placed a red ribbon on their flag pole to signal they got the message, as the letter instructed. They said they had reported the threat to Spokane authorities and even met with their stockbroker to see about making the payment. The man said he was carrying his gun at all times and inquired about getting a ballistic vest.

Detectives figured out both couples knew Bolton through the militia, so in March, a detective went to see him, too. Wouldn't you know it, he said he'd been getting threats too, but told the detective he'd just shrugged them off, because that just comes with being a patriot these days. We'd like to think little American flags appeared in his eyes, too. The detective reported Bolton had a rather high opinion of his own savoir faire, not to mention his sang froid and his merde du taureau.

I was advised numerous times of Bolton's military background, counter-insurgency training, him being a private investigator and working with various law enforcement agencies in North Carolina and Virginia, and the fact that he currently trains members of the Stevens County Assembly in hand-to-hand combat.

Asked why they might be getting threats, Bolton told the detective one of his militia associates was always in disputes with neighbors and had a history of trying to extort people, and that the other "has confrontations with a lot of different people because of his personality," according to court documents reproduced at Talking Points Memo.

Later in March, Bolton called the detective back with a shocking new development! He claimed he had received threatening emails, but as sometimes will happen,

When the detective asked to see the emails, Bolton said his computer had been hacked and was unusable. He also said that a red pickup truck had followed him home from Chewelah one day. He never forwarded the alleged emails to the sheriff's office as the detective requested.

Gee, there's a surprise! Oh, yes, and Bolton also tried to kill another militia dude by pushing him down some stairs, "causing his head to hit the concrete floor and leaving a large cut, according to court records. As the man tried to get up, Bolton allegedly tried to pull a plastic bag over his head." But then, another sudden twist! After trying to murder the dude, Bolton said someone has kidnapped his wife and wanted $100,000 ransom -- which of course the militia dude believed, and then sold stock to get the $100K for Bolton. But when Bolton told the stairs guy his wife had been released but the kidnappers said they needed the money or bad things would still happen, the fellow patriot said he "began to question the validity of Bolton's story." Guess he didn't need no website to help him develop his critical thinking!

Yr Wonkette will keep you updated on developments, maybe, especially if Bolton decides to represent himself, because that ought to go well. We'll also let you know if eastern Washington is overrun by jihadists or commies, now that there's no one to keep them in check.

[Spokesman-Review / TPM / Bluefield Daily Telegraph]

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Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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