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Watch Drunk (?) Teevee Lady Forget How To Read In Front of Robert Gates!

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Teevee actress person Kim Delaney from the show "Army Wives" (we can't verify this information, we just read the caption) was somehow the most relevant pick for a crowd-warmer speech at a Philadelphia military gala honoring Forever War Emperor Robert Gates. But lucky for everyone at what must have been an otherwise thoroughly boring event, she showed up dosed. Her rambling speech about soldiers and military family life mostly consists of long stares at the teleprompter like she is somehow trying to see if she can use the Force to make it come up with words she can pronounce, until eventually she gives up and just declares, "IT'S ALL MAKE BELIEVE."  Touché, Kim Delaney! Why does Kim Delaney hate freedom? We will never know, because she was removed from the stage.

Scholars are still debating the true meaning of this bizarre episode, but ABC has dashed off a little context in the meantime:

Video from ABC affiliate WPVI shows the crowd growing uncomfortable as Delaney rambles on. She was escorted off stage before finishing her remarks.

CBS' Philadelphia affiliate reported that Delaney was supposed to read her speech off a teleprompter, but technical difficulties forced her to wing it. Representatives for the National Constitution Center did not immediately respond to ABCNews.com’s requests for comment.

Delaney, 49, has had issues with substance abuse — in 2002, she was arrested for suspicion of drunk driving after she refused to take a breathalyzer test. She’s sought rehab for alcohol addiction twice.

Amazing. Happy Friday! [ABC/ YouTube via BuzzFeed]

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